Having social anxiety myself, I have come throughout the years to somewhat being able to manage it. However, I have realized that I haven’t eliminated it or even made it weaker—it’s always there and it’s exactly as strong as before, I’m just consciously trying to suppress it.
Does this correlate with your experience? Or did you actually manage to make the Fear (you know what I mean) go away?
Also, about awkwardness, I’m gradually coming to realize that I am not innately awkward or stupid in social situations, it’s just that the Fear clouds my judgement and preoccupies my thought processes so that when I am in the presence of someone unfamiliar I am significantly less intelligent than I would be otherwise. Imagine trying to be funny and witty while in the presence of a growling tiger or with a gun to your head, and you begin to see what I mean :)
Does this correlate with your experience? Or did you actually manage to make the Fear (you know what I mean) go away?
I’ve made the Fear, as you call it, go away. At least selectively. The Fear seems to be positive correlated with situations where I feel low status. E.g. at minicamp I had a bit of it once I realized just how frickin’ smart everyone else was. Confidence, based on reality or imagined, seems to be the cure-all for me.
I know exactly what you mean about your judgment being clouded. Your brain is so busy worrying about how you’ll be perceived that you can’t concentrate on actually holding a conversation—there’s just no computing power left over! But I was just making a joke about the particular turn of phrase you used. You basically quoted Yoda and this made me giggle.
It occurred to me one useful way to get rid of the Fear for some people (including me) is the “just fuck it” mentality. So named because often to induce the mentality I, and others I’m sure, tell myself “Fuck it! I don’t care about what they think anyway. I’m just going to screw around.” And suddenly, I’m goofing around in the conversation as if it’s for my own amusement rather than worrying about what others think. This is a particularly useful strategy for interacting with females (in fact I’ve read PUAs talking about it often in the context of “fake it til you make it”), but it seems be useful in a wide range of situations. Your mileage may vary.
Having social anxiety myself, I have come throughout the years to somewhat being able to manage it. However, I have realized that I haven’t eliminated it or even made it weaker—it’s always there and it’s exactly as strong as before, I’m just consciously trying to suppress it.
Does this correlate with your experience? Or did you actually manage to make the Fear (you know what I mean) go away?
Also, about awkwardness, I’m gradually coming to realize that I am not innately awkward or stupid in social situations, it’s just that the Fear clouds my judgement and preoccupies my thought processes so that when I am in the presence of someone unfamiliar I am significantly less intelligent than I would be otherwise. Imagine trying to be funny and witty while in the presence of a growling tiger or with a gun to your head, and you begin to see what I mean :)
I’ve made the Fear, as you call it, go away. At least selectively. The Fear seems to be positive correlated with situations where I feel low status. E.g. at minicamp I had a bit of it once I realized just how frickin’ smart everyone else was. Confidence, based on reality or imagined, seems to be the cure-all for me.
Alright Yoda ;)
About ‘clouding my judgement’, I meant that I’m led into making irrational decisions just to make it go away.
I suppose I can see how having increased confidence can lead to being much better able to handle social situations.
I know exactly what you mean about your judgment being clouded. Your brain is so busy worrying about how you’ll be perceived that you can’t concentrate on actually holding a conversation—there’s just no computing power left over! But I was just making a joke about the particular turn of phrase you used. You basically quoted Yoda and this made me giggle.
It occurred to me one useful way to get rid of the Fear for some people (including me) is the “just fuck it” mentality. So named because often to induce the mentality I, and others I’m sure, tell myself “Fuck it! I don’t care about what they think anyway. I’m just going to screw around.” And suddenly, I’m goofing around in the conversation as if it’s for my own amusement rather than worrying about what others think. This is a particularly useful strategy for interacting with females (in fact I’ve read PUAs talking about it often in the context of “fake it til you make it”), but it seems be useful in a wide range of situations. Your mileage may vary.