When I have meet people who had a lot of training in nonviolent communication in workshop settings, they often seem to me quite needy and shy. I think there’s a good chance that the framework of getting people to focus on their needs just makes them more needy. If you need to have a need to ask for something than that creates an incentive for you to develop more needs.
“You are smart” and “You are stupid” are both judgements. Judgements are both about agreeing as a community about what’s desirable and what’s undesirable. The constrain individuals in a way that makes them adapt to community norms. At the same time, it provides grounding. It wouldn’t surprise me that taking away that grounding makes people more shy, needy and depressed.
I think there’s a good chance that the social justice discourse took part of it’s notion of words as violence from nonviolent communication while unfortunately not getting the part about empathy and instead intellectualizing. There’s an idea that if you just build enough safe spaces where people are shielded from violent words you end up with people that are psychologically healthy. Human psychology might not work that way and instead people just become more depressed and anxious.
That doesn’t mean that a lot of judgements and constraints of individuals don’t create harm, but generalizing to those things being fundamentally bad might not be helpful.
When I have meet people who had a lot of training in nonviolent communication in workshop settings, they often seem to me quite needy and shy. I think there’s a good chance that the framework of getting people to focus on their needs just makes them more needy. If you need to have a need to ask for something than that creates an incentive for you to develop more needs.
“You are smart” and “You are stupid” are both judgements. Judgements are both about agreeing as a community about what’s desirable and what’s undesirable. The constrain individuals in a way that makes them adapt to community norms. At the same time, it provides grounding. It wouldn’t surprise me that taking away that grounding makes people more shy, needy and depressed.
I think there’s a good chance that the social justice discourse took part of it’s notion of words as violence from nonviolent communication while unfortunately not getting the part about empathy and instead intellectualizing. There’s an idea that if you just build enough safe spaces where people are shielded from violent words you end up with people that are psychologically healthy. Human psychology might not work that way and instead people just become more depressed and anxious.
That doesn’t mean that a lot of judgements and constraints of individuals don’t create harm, but generalizing to those things being fundamentally bad might not be helpful.