There are several separate issues here. First, the people saying that you would have compassion if you understood them are lying. Second, you are bad at understanding people. Do you understand cats, or do you just condescend to them?
Your disgust is not productive. It is not helping you deal with the people. Your solution to this problem is to flinch away from reality. Maybe understanding people is is not worth the effort, but flinching away is not making a calculation. It sounds like you are wallowing in your ineptitude. Maybe you could learn something about yourself by comparison.
Or maybe the disgust reaction is productive: maybe it is a fear of contagion, that you can’t understand them without becoming them.
Disgust and disappointment are useful for providing a negative incentive for incompetence and ineptitude. It is hard for me to read this and not feel like there is an attempt to reject ‘having standards’. People do not wish for others to feel disgust and disappointment in them, and this will motivate them to behave differently.
Not quite sure what mistake you think he’s making. I don’t think he’s making one. I think he is avoiding trying to hold other people to these standards, because he is not particularly invested in helping them grow stronger. Increasing his empathy would either be an investment in their growth, or add a bunch of internal psychic friction for little gain.
There are several separate issues here. First, the people saying that you would have compassion if you understood them are lying. Second, you are bad at understanding people. Do you understand cats, or do you just condescend to them?
Your disgust is not productive. It is not helping you deal with the people. Your solution to this problem is to flinch away from reality. Maybe understanding people is is not worth the effort, but flinching away is not making a calculation. It sounds like you are wallowing in your ineptitude. Maybe you could learn something about yourself by comparison.
Or maybe the disgust reaction is productive: maybe it is a fear of contagion, that you can’t understand them without becoming them.
Disgust and disappointment are useful for providing a negative incentive for incompetence and ineptitude. It is hard for me to read this and not feel like there is an attempt to reject ‘having standards’. People do not wish for others to feel disgust and disappointment in them, and this will motivate them to behave differently.
But John is also flinching away from acting on his disgust. He is not communicating it to the other people.
Not quite sure what mistake you think he’s making. I don’t think he’s making one. I think he is avoiding trying to hold other people to these standards, because he is not particularly invested in helping them grow stronger. Increasing his empathy would either be an investment in their growth, or add a bunch of internal psychic friction for little gain.