For such outcomes, I suggest the methods used by Allen Carr: essentially they work by systematically eliminating all the perceived benefits of the activity you wish to cease.
I have read Allen Carr’s Easy Way To Stop Drinking Alcohol. I got the impression he is playing on the reader’s pride basically. He did not deny alcohol numbs in the brain whatever bothers you, he said the price is that it numbs everything else to. So basically he was playing a “you don’t value the everything else in you?” game and maybe it is just a quirk of mine, I don’t know, but whenever people try to play my pride I charge head-in, such as “Yes, I am absolutely worthless.Now what? Your move.” I don’t really know why I do this. Partially sometimes really feeling like this but partially really not liking the pride play as a method… I just think building anything on people’s self-worth is really fragile, right?
The trick to this kind of issue is realizing that your brain is using the wrong baseline for measurement of gain/loss. The correct baseline to use in such a scenario is not how things are now, but how they would be if you didn’t have the job.
Is this related to the old saying “learn to desire what you have” or “count your blessings” or the Stoic technique of negative visualization i.e. how much it would suck to lose what you have? Visualize not having it, then having it, pass a mmm-test, that sort of thing?
The optimum use seems to be for situations that trigger an immediate and visceral conditioned response that interferes with your ability to think clearly.
I see—this is why the examples are like foods one dislikes or social anxiety for speaking or I assume approach anxiety at dating etc. I will try it with physical challenges, I remember feeling inferior when I was a child when I was clumsy at things like climbing up ropes and it is possible it is keeping me away from trying such sports.
In contrast to the feeling elimination technique, most everything I teach these days can be considered—in one way or another—a Ritual For Changing One’s Mind.
Do you write about this i.e. new websites as TTD or DS are not maintained much lately?
Any self-help technique can be trivially defeated by arguing with it. And anything can be argued with, because the whole point (evolutionarily speaking) of our critical faculties is to find things we can attack in that which we have defined as our enemy. The truth, relevance, or usefulness of the argument is beside the point.
When I read that book I didn’t even notice anything about pride or self-worth, honestly. I wasn’t reading it because I drink (I don’t), but as research into his approach. I found it fascinating because the various arguments I noticed seemed pretty universal to almost anything one might want to quit.
Anyway, I wasn’t looking for things to argue with, so I didn’t find any. In general, it’s not useful to read a self-help book looking for things to argue with: skim over those, and look for things you agree with, or at least things you can consider with an open mind. Carr’s books explicitly point out the need for this consideration at the beginning, and you will get more value out of them if you heed that advice.
Do you write about this i.e. new websites as TTD or DS are not maintained much lately?
Mostly I do online workshops with my paying subscribers, and the occasional tweet about things I’m noticing or realizing as they come up.
I have read Allen Carr’s Easy Way To Stop Drinking Alcohol. I got the impression he is playing on the reader’s pride basically. He did not deny alcohol numbs in the brain whatever bothers you, he said the price is that it numbs everything else to. So basically he was playing a “you don’t value the everything else in you?” game and maybe it is just a quirk of mine, I don’t know, but whenever people try to play my pride I charge head-in, such as “Yes, I am absolutely worthless.Now what? Your move.” I don’t really know why I do this. Partially sometimes really feeling like this but partially really not liking the pride play as a method… I just think building anything on people’s self-worth is really fragile, right?
Is this related to the old saying “learn to desire what you have” or “count your blessings” or the Stoic technique of negative visualization i.e. how much it would suck to lose what you have? Visualize not having it, then having it, pass a mmm-test, that sort of thing?
I see—this is why the examples are like foods one dislikes or social anxiety for speaking or I assume approach anxiety at dating etc. I will try it with physical challenges, I remember feeling inferior when I was a child when I was clumsy at things like climbing up ropes and it is possible it is keeping me away from trying such sports.
Do you write about this i.e. new websites as TTD or DS are not maintained much lately?
Any self-help technique can be trivially defeated by arguing with it. And anything can be argued with, because the whole point (evolutionarily speaking) of our critical faculties is to find things we can attack in that which we have defined as our enemy. The truth, relevance, or usefulness of the argument is beside the point.
When I read that book I didn’t even notice anything about pride or self-worth, honestly. I wasn’t reading it because I drink (I don’t), but as research into his approach. I found it fascinating because the various arguments I noticed seemed pretty universal to almost anything one might want to quit.
Anyway, I wasn’t looking for things to argue with, so I didn’t find any. In general, it’s not useful to read a self-help book looking for things to argue with: skim over those, and look for things you agree with, or at least things you can consider with an open mind. Carr’s books explicitly point out the need for this consideration at the beginning, and you will get more value out of them if you heed that advice.
Mostly I do online workshops with my paying subscribers, and the occasional tweet about things I’m noticing or realizing as they come up.