I think this is much more of a culture clash than an issue of principle. My board game culture is that players should try to win, which entails both (a) treating the social environment of the game as part of the field of play and (b) understanding which players are your greatest threats and acting accordingly. So to me your opponent is doing exactly what they should. Now, “he’s targeting me and manipulating you all” may be a good strategic move within the game, but outside the game, in my culture, it’s not a valid complaint.
That we have different cultural expectations was really driven home for me when I saw your “when I play Secret Hitler online I absolutely lie all the time, just because it’s fun to sew chaos” below. In my culture taking actions that make you less likely to win because chaos is fun is absolutely not done, and is seen as making the game worse for everyone else. And doing it in a team game where people are trying to decode complex signals and solve a puzzle is beyond the pale for me.
Talking openly about this with your friends, as you discuss below, is good. But mostly my takeaway is that some people shouldn’t play board games with some other people.
I think this is much more of a culture clash than an issue of principle. My board game culture is that players should try to win, which entails both (a) treating the social environment of the game as part of the field of play and (b) understanding which players are your greatest threats and acting accordingly. So to me your opponent is doing exactly what they should. Now, “he’s targeting me and manipulating you all” may be a good strategic move within the game, but outside the game, in my culture, it’s not a valid complaint.
That we have different cultural expectations was really driven home for me when I saw your “when I play Secret Hitler online I absolutely lie all the time, just because it’s fun to sew chaos” below. In my culture taking actions that make you less likely to win because chaos is fun is absolutely not done, and is seen as making the game worse for everyone else. And doing it in a team game where people are trying to decode complex signals and solve a puzzle is beyond the pale for me.
Talking openly about this with your friends, as you discuss below, is good. But mostly my takeaway is that some people shouldn’t play board games with some other people.