This feels like it would really reinforce focus on the easily accessible attribute of external appearance.
The core value add, here, is providing people with a sense of perspective related to where they stand. It’s okay if it’s not perfect, as long as it informs people, in a general sense, of whether they are trying to punch out of their weight class (and, likewise, whether their self-esteem is lower than it ought to be, if other people rank them more highly than they rank themselves).
Essentially just an informal sanity check on peoples’ assessments of their prospects, rectifying the two extreme failure states of someone looking to find love.
I appreciate that. I think it’s good to have better access to reality. What I’m saying is that I would suggest prioritizing enhanced awareness of other dimension of reality. Before establishing my monogamous marriage I’d have happily have dated someone considered ugly with deformities who nonetheless had high compatibility emotionally, intellectually, and socially. My happiness and smoothness in doing so would probably have served as one of the compatibility bars that they would have employed to evaluate my fitness. There is a large societal focus on attractiveness but I don’t expect it to be the best predictor of optimal relational outcomes. You already to want to privilege and protect focus on that attribute. Do I misunderstand?
The core value add, here, is providing people with a sense of perspective related to where they stand. It’s okay if it’s not perfect, as long as it informs people, in a general sense, of whether they are trying to punch out of their weight class (and, likewise, whether their self-esteem is lower than it ought to be, if other people rank them more highly than they rank themselves).
Essentially just an informal sanity check on peoples’ assessments of their prospects, rectifying the two extreme failure states of someone looking to find love.
I appreciate that. I think it’s good to have better access to reality. What I’m saying is that I would suggest prioritizing enhanced awareness of other dimension of reality. Before establishing my monogamous marriage I’d have happily have dated someone considered ugly with deformities who nonetheless had high compatibility emotionally, intellectually, and socially. My happiness and smoothness in doing so would probably have served as one of the compatibility bars that they would have employed to evaluate my fitness. There is a large societal focus on attractiveness but I don’t expect it to be the best predictor of optimal relational outcomes. You already to want to privilege and protect focus on that attribute. Do I misunderstand?