Thanks for writing this. Something I found helpful is that you can put requests in to your system and your system does take this as feedback. Only seems to work if it’s a genuine request and not a disguised demand. The frame goes something like this: if this experience is coming up, some part of me believes that I’m ready to process it. I don’t have control over what comes up, and I’m not super well calibrated on what indeed I am ‘ready’ for. If I really need to deal with this trauma in this super unpleasant form, then that’s how it is and I will do my best. However, this really does seem too intense if the purpose is for me to integrate it. I’d like to request the intensity be turned down slightly so that I can hold my ground and actually process it.
The reason this doesn’t always work is that you ‘holding your ground’ is sometimes the point. Your system doesn’t want you to integrate what it’s showing you into your current way of being. It’s showing you how your current way of being/relating to experience falls short.
Thanks for writing this. Something I found helpful is that you can put requests in to your system and your system does take this as feedback. Only seems to work if it’s a genuine request and not a disguised demand. The frame goes something like this: if this experience is coming up, some part of me believes that I’m ready to process it. I don’t have control over what comes up, and I’m not super well calibrated on what indeed I am ‘ready’ for. If I really need to deal with this trauma in this super unpleasant form, then that’s how it is and I will do my best. However, this really does seem too intense if the purpose is for me to integrate it. I’d like to request the intensity be turned down slightly so that I can hold my ground and actually process it.
The reason this doesn’t always work is that you ‘holding your ground’ is sometimes the point. Your system doesn’t want you to integrate what it’s showing you into your current way of being. It’s showing you how your current way of being/relating to experience falls short.