On the other hand, I’ve seen a failure mode where people with poor introspective skills talk themselves into believing they’re insensitive to jealousy when the opposite is true
Talking yourself into it is relatively easy. Talking a woman into it when you yourself have poor social skills isn’t. A poly-woman usually wants to avoid the situation where she causes a man that gets to much attached to her serious pain.
I’ve seen it happen at least twice. In both cases the problem became evident a few months into the relationship, but by that point most of the damage had already been done.
I actually think that poor social skills there may have made the problem more likely, by masking as simple awkwardness what in a more socially adept partner would correctly have been seen as jealousy. Don’t know how far that generalizes, though.
Talking yourself into it is relatively easy. Talking a woman into it when you yourself have poor social skills isn’t. A poly-woman usually wants to avoid the situation where she causes a man that gets to much attached to her serious pain.
I’ve seen it happen at least twice. In both cases the problem became evident a few months into the relationship, but by that point most of the damage had already been done.
I actually think that poor social skills there may have made the problem more likely, by masking as simple awkwardness what in a more socially adept partner would correctly have been seen as jealousy. Don’t know how far that generalizes, though.