Not sure I understand the question. Let’s say I broke your vase, or decided to go somewhere else on our anniversary. I have to choose between telling you now or later when the situation is “resolved”? Resolved how?
I withhold the information like, “I didn’t want to tell you about the vase because I didn’t want to upset you”. “I already have tickets to this other thing and I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings”
I didn’t want you to find out suddenly so I told you right away. I didn’t want to hide anything from you so I told you right away.
Later when you find out that the vase is broken. Or later when you find out that I have other plans for the anniversary, rather than fretting about it between now and the anniversary.
Not sure I understand the question. Let’s say I broke your vase, or decided to go somewhere else on our anniversary. I have to choose between telling you now or later when the situation is “resolved”? Resolved how?
either:
I withhold the information like, “I didn’t want to tell you about the vase because I didn’t want to upset you”. “I already have tickets to this other thing and I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings”
I didn’t want you to find out suddenly so I told you right away. I didn’t want to hide anything from you so I told you right away.
Later when you find out that the vase is broken. Or later when you find out that I have other plans for the anniversary, rather than fretting about it between now and the anniversary.
Then I pick 2.
I’m happy to do emotional labor in other situations though, when it’s more clearly a net positive.