It would be crazy to expect to reap “extraordinary profits” from knowing the average number of years a marriage lasts before a divorce, the primary causes thereof, and the average ages and costs to each participant.
It would be reasonable to expect that the knowledge could help someone to avoid a marriage that was likely to end in divorce, or to help them prevent divorce through something obvious like not spending enough time together.
I’m not looking for rocket science or magical secrets, I’m looking for an honest overview of the sturdy facts upon which normal lives rest :-)
It would be crazy to expect to reap “extraordinary profits” from knowing the average number of years a marriage lasts before a divorce, the primary causes thereof, and the average ages and costs to each participant.
Considering how many marriages fail with very sad (and costly) consequences, having useful knowledge that would enable you to avoid such an outcome definitely counts as “extraordinary profit” in my book!
The statistics you mention are easy to look up, but when it comes to an accurate model of the causes of marriage problems and the ways to solve and avoid them in practice, this is a very good example of an issue where good advice is extremely hard to separate from the torrents of unsubstantiated nonsense that are thrown in one’s face on every corner, and where it’s hard to overcome one’s own biases.
I’m not looking for rocket science or magical secrets, I’m looking for an honest overview of the sturdy facts upon which normal lives rest :-)
Such seemingly easy questions are often in fact extremely difficult! To get accurate answers to them, you have to fight your way through multiple thick layers of biases, rationalizations, and distortions. First you have the idealizations and rationalizations in the stories people tell themselves, then the tendency to pronounce respectably idealized opinions instead of realistic harshly cynical views—and last but not least, your own biases that may prevent you from accepting the often unpleasant truths.
It would be crazy to expect to reap “extraordinary profits” from knowing the average number of years a marriage lasts before a divorce, the primary causes thereof, and the average ages and costs to each participant.
It would be reasonable to expect that the knowledge could help someone to avoid a marriage that was likely to end in divorce, or to help them prevent divorce through something obvious like not spending enough time together.
I’m not looking for rocket science or magical secrets, I’m looking for an honest overview of the sturdy facts upon which normal lives rest :-)
JenniferRM:
Considering how many marriages fail with very sad (and costly) consequences, having useful knowledge that would enable you to avoid such an outcome definitely counts as “extraordinary profit” in my book!
The statistics you mention are easy to look up, but when it comes to an accurate model of the causes of marriage problems and the ways to solve and avoid them in practice, this is a very good example of an issue where good advice is extremely hard to separate from the torrents of unsubstantiated nonsense that are thrown in one’s face on every corner, and where it’s hard to overcome one’s own biases.
Such seemingly easy questions are often in fact extremely difficult! To get accurate answers to them, you have to fight your way through multiple thick layers of biases, rationalizations, and distortions. First you have the idealizations and rationalizations in the stories people tell themselves, then the tendency to pronounce respectably idealized opinions instead of realistic harshly cynical views—and last but not least, your own biases that may prevent you from accepting the often unpleasant truths.