I mostly agree with the premise—deep conversations are fragile, and get derailed easily. I’m not sure that there’s a solution for some situations—enforcing a norm by rebuffing people who join conversations makes for a really unpleasant party. It’s probably better to note when you’re having this kind of discussion, and physically separate yourself.
Also, there are a TON more options in the electronic world—mostly around parallel and threaded communication. Someone can both lurk AND ask their not-quite-helpful questions, on channels that don’t interfere. Someone can be muted (for you) or redirected (to a more correct topic) if they’re not quite on the topic you want.
edit to add: Note that part of the fragility is the overhead of categorizing the conversation. If the act of noticing that it’s become deep enough to warrant isolation is itself a disruption, there are no good options. You don’t want this to be a norm for the “mingling and surfing” phase of a party—there you want to encourage easy joining and offering/mixing topics, in hopes that one will fit the cluster and generate a deep conversation.
It’s probably better to note when you’re having this kind of discussion, and physically separate yourself.
I was thinking about that too. It seems like it’d be the best solution when doing so is possible, like at a house party if you could relocate to the backyard, or to taking a walk around the block.
I mostly agree with the premise—deep conversations are fragile, and get derailed easily. I’m not sure that there’s a solution for some situations—enforcing a norm by rebuffing people who join conversations makes for a really unpleasant party. It’s probably better to note when you’re having this kind of discussion, and physically separate yourself.
Also, there are a TON more options in the electronic world—mostly around parallel and threaded communication. Someone can both lurk AND ask their not-quite-helpful questions, on channels that don’t interfere. Someone can be muted (for you) or redirected (to a more correct topic) if they’re not quite on the topic you want.
edit to add: Note that part of the fragility is the overhead of categorizing the conversation. If the act of noticing that it’s become deep enough to warrant isolation is itself a disruption, there are no good options. You don’t want this to be a norm for the “mingling and surfing” phase of a party—there you want to encourage easy joining and offering/mixing topics, in hopes that one will fit the cluster and generate a deep conversation.
I was thinking about that too. It seems like it’d be the best solution when doing so is possible, like at a house party if you could relocate to the backyard, or to taking a walk around the block.