Pay Other Species to Pandemize Vegetarianism for You

(This post is com­pletely jo­cose. If you can’t take it, don’t read it. I’m mak­ing fun of Ra­tion­al­ists, of Me, of homo eco­nomi­cus, of Ve­gans and of things I re­ally praise, like Con­se­quen­tial­ism and Out­sourc­ing. It is not se­ri­ous. The Shel­don Sar­casm sign has been lifted, your as­perger side has been warned)

One of the fea­tures of ra­tio­nal­ity is that it al­lows you to mix differ­ent units.

By ra­tio­nally be­hav­ing eco­nom­i­cally, you learn, for you, how many ap­ples costs an or­ange.

Vege­tar­i­ans and Ve­gans sell diminish­ing suffer­ing. They claim to have the best price in the mar­ket, only Sin­gu­lar­i­tar­i­ans and Ex­is­ten­tial Risk avoid­ing com­petes with their num­bers. Utili­tar­i­ans are a good tar­get mar­ket.

Then a Less­wronger came and no­ticed that, and said: Well, why not buy some­one to be a veg­e­tar­ian for you, here.

Awe­some price ac­tu­ally. You shock a few hu­mans (no­tice that hu­mans are an­i­mals, who clearly would rather be shocked than eaten), one of them enough to make him ve­gan.

So why not take this to the next level?

Figure out the re­pro­duc­tive cy­cle and eat­ing habits of this bee­tle that makes peo­ple veg­e­tar­ian. Make sure the ev­i­dence is solid.

Get a base­ment lab full of them.

Ship them al­ive to cities where more peo­ple con­sume meat. Wait for pop­u­la­tion growth.

Save a lot of an­i­mals!

Seems straight­for­ward, but is it?

Also, are there similar strate­gies for other groups? Are there easy, but strange, short­cuts for self­ish he­do­nists, im­mor­tal­ists, ra­tio­nal al­tru­ists? Utili­tar­ian he­do­nists? The an­cient school of nega­tive util­i­tar­i­anists? Cry­on­i­cists?