what is making these relationships net positive value for the men, relative to not having a romantic relationship at all?
I think it’s net negative. Seen it with any combination of genders. The person who’s less happy in the relationship stays due to force of habit, fear of the unknown, and the other person giving them a precise minimum of “crumbs” to make them stay. Even a good relationship can fall into this pattern slowly, with the other person believing all along that everything is fine. And when it finally breaks (often due to some random event breaking the suspension of disbelief), the formerly unhappy person is surprised how much better things become.
I think it’s net negative. Seen it with any combination of genders. The person who’s less happy in the relationship stays due to force of habit, fear of the unknown, and the other person giving them a precise minimum of “crumbs” to make them stay. Even a good relationship can fall into this pattern slowly, with the other person believing all along that everything is fine. And when it finally breaks (often due to some random event breaking the suspension of disbelief), the formerly unhappy person is surprised how much better things become.