The qualia for me for conversations is usually not pronouncedly “a warm feeling in chest” (it is noticeably different from what I call “Deep/Meaningful Limerence” which I think you’re pointing at).
Three distinct flavor of good conversation:
alive, creative, magnetic vibrant conversation (I think I might describe part of this as slightly warm chest, I don’t quite remember, I haven’t had it recently. But it’s more the qualia of traditional excitement than warm connection”. (I bet you have these conversations occasionally, or at least ever have, and they correlate more with obvious John values)
slightly nice sitting-around-living-room or restaurant/bar or campfire vibes (shallow)
somewhat-more-nice sitting around living-room/campfire vibes where the conversation is sort of “deep”, in a way that multiple people are talking about something either emotionally confusing, or psychologically fraught, or “meaning-making”-ish.
I expect #3 (less confidently than #1) to be somewhat obviously valuable to you in some circumstances regardless of qualia. But, it does have some particular qualia that’s like (hrm, probably can’t remember actual biological phenomenology right now), but, like, spacious, relaxed, I think there’s maybe some kind of feeling in my chest but I don’t have a good word for it.
#2… I think might have a very mild version of “warm feeling in chest”. Or, I think it does feel warm but I think it’s more distributed throughout my body.
But I think #2 more importantly for me is like: “there is an actively (slightly) bad qualia to not-having-had-nice-livingroom-conversations lately” which is, like, feeling sort of blah, or just somewhat less vibrant. If I have something to be socially anxious about, lack of recent #2 makes it worse.
The qualia for me for conversations is usually not pronouncedly “a warm feeling in chest” (it is noticeably different from what I call “Deep/Meaningful Limerence” which I think you’re pointing at).
Three distinct flavor of good conversation:
alive, creative, magnetic vibrant conversation (I think I might describe part of this as slightly warm chest, I don’t quite remember, I haven’t had it recently. But it’s more the qualia of traditional excitement than warm connection”. (I bet you have these conversations occasionally, or at least ever have, and they correlate more with obvious John values)
slightly nice sitting-around-living-room or restaurant/bar or campfire vibes (shallow)
somewhat-more-nice sitting around living-room/campfire vibes where the conversation is sort of “deep”, in a way that multiple people are talking about something either emotionally confusing, or psychologically fraught, or “meaning-making”-ish.
I expect #3 (less confidently than #1) to be somewhat obviously valuable to you in some circumstances regardless of qualia. But, it does have some particular qualia that’s like (hrm, probably can’t remember actual biological phenomenology right now), but, like, spacious, relaxed, I think there’s maybe some kind of feeling in my chest but I don’t have a good word for it.
#2… I think might have a very mild version of “warm feeling in chest”. Or, I think it does feel warm but I think it’s more distributed throughout my body.
But I think #2 more importantly for me is like: “there is an actively (slightly) bad qualia to not-having-had-nice-livingroom-conversations lately” which is, like, feeling sort of blah, or just somewhat less vibrant. If I have something to be socially anxious about, lack of recent #2 makes it worse.