Well, I don’t have much recent experience of dating myself, so it’s second-hand. But also, this user specifically is talking about Bay Area, and if there’s a single place and single social circle in the world where I expect this to be closest to true, “educated well-off tech people in the Bay Area” is it.
I’m not saying this is a truth anywhere and with everyone. Also, even if it’s not out of an actual social custom, I think at this point lots of people still resort to the internet as a way of looking for dates simply because the possibility is there and seemingly more direct (and lower effort). IIRC there’s data showing that the number of couples that started on the internet has dramatically increased across the last years, leaving almost all other methods behind.
I think people use the internet/apps for dating due to a combination of convenience in sorting/search, because it’s less awkward to be rejected online, and because it’s the path of least resistance, not because asking people out in person is considered rude.
It’s true that in middle-class/upper middle class circles, professional events/workplace is now considered ~off-limits for dating, which wasn’t true 30 years ago. However, that’s a big difference from what you originally said where only dating-specific events are okay.
People also do professional networking online + in dedicated networking events, but I don’t think it’s considered impolite to (eg) incidentally network in a ski lodge. Less effective, sure, but not impolite.
I’m also in the general Bay Area/tech/educated milieu, so I do have relevant anecdotal experience here[1].
eg I recently went on a few dates with a leftist girl I asked out at a stargazing thing. Neither of us thought it was impolite, I think. That said, it didn’t work out, and I guess I should’ve been able to figure that out a priori from stargazing not being the type of thing that’s sufficiently indicative of relationship compatibility.
Well, I don’t have much recent experience of dating myself, so it’s second-hand. But also, this user specifically is talking about Bay Area, and if there’s a single place and single social circle in the world where I expect this to be closest to true, “educated well-off tech people in the Bay Area” is it.
I’m not saying this is a truth anywhere and with everyone. Also, even if it’s not out of an actual social custom, I think at this point lots of people still resort to the internet as a way of looking for dates simply because the possibility is there and seemingly more direct (and lower effort). IIRC there’s data showing that the number of couples that started on the internet has dramatically increased across the last years, leaving almost all other methods behind.
I think people use the internet/apps for dating due to a combination of convenience in sorting/search, because it’s less awkward to be rejected online, and because it’s the path of least resistance, not because asking people out in person is considered rude.
It’s true that in middle-class/upper middle class circles, professional events/workplace is now considered ~off-limits for dating, which wasn’t true 30 years ago. However, that’s a big difference from what you originally said where only dating-specific events are okay.
People also do professional networking online + in dedicated networking events, but I don’t think it’s considered impolite to (eg) incidentally network in a ski lodge. Less effective, sure, but not impolite.
I’m also in the general Bay Area/tech/educated milieu, so I do have relevant anecdotal experience here[1].
eg I recently went on a few dates with a leftist girl I asked out at a stargazing thing. Neither of us thought it was impolite, I think. That said, it didn’t work out, and I guess I should’ve been able to figure that out a priori from stargazing not being the type of thing that’s sufficiently indicative of relationship compatibility.