I’ve noticed a very specific feeling—a conscious decision to stop fretting about how badly my current situation could go wrong, and to genuinely be calm and composed, focusing entirely on the situation itself. It’s hugely useful, but I don’t know how it works, or how to teach someone else to do it. I think it’s this ability that you’re talking about.
And you’re right that it transfers to other domains. I once saw a guy with this ability step on a nail. It went right through his shoe and into the sole of his foot. After a few seconds of shouting, he calmed way down, sat down, and removed his shoe. It was pretty damn bloody, and several people around him started freaking out. He began talking in a slow, confident voice to try to calm them down, and then asked them to fetch some bandages and antiseptic, while he used his sock to stanch the immediate bleeding. The guy with the bleeding wound was the one with the most level head!
If anybody can figure out a repeatable way to instill this anti-freakout reflex in someone, that would be potentially life-saving.
I know that feeling, but I don’t know how conscious it is. Basically when then outcome matters in a real immediate way and is heavily dependent on my actions, I get calm and go into ‘I must do what needs to be done’ mode. When my car lost traction in the rain and spun on the highway, I probably saved my life by reasoning how to best get control of it, pumping the break, and getting it into a clearing away from other vehicles/trees, all within a time frame that was under a minute. Immediately afterwards the thoughts running through my head were not, ‘Oh fuck I could have died!’ but ‘How could I have handled that better.’ and ‘Oh fuck, I think the car is trashed.’ It was only after I climbed out of the car that I realized I was physically shaking.
Likewise, when a man collapsed at synogogue after most people had left (there were only 6 of us), and hit his head on the table leaving a not unimpressive pool of blood on the floor, I immediately went over to him and checked his vitals and declared that someone should call an ambulance. The other people just stood around looking dumbfounded, and it turned out the problem was no one had a cell-phone on Saturday, so I called and was already giving the address by the time the man’s friend realized there was something wrong and began screaming.
Doing these things did not feel like a choice. They were the necessary next action and so I did them. Period. I don’t know how to describe that. “Emergency Programming”?
I have a relevant story. I was once hiking down a mountain, and near the top I slipped and fell on a rock, cutting my knee to the bone. When I saw it, I calmly called out to the person I was hiking with to get gauze pads, without any panicking or shouting. He helped, and I was able to make it down on my own.
The way I did it was by looking at the situation and seeing what had to be done, then figuring out the best way to do it. I’m not sure if this was normal, but it was an immediate reaction for me.
Moral: Search for goals than find an optimal path to achieve them, even in stressful situations. The way to do this is by drilling a procedure in your head until you can do it by instinct. Not specifics, as you can’t plan for things like nails in your shoes. But you can plan general emergencies procedures, like remove the puncture, clean the wound, and apply pressure.
I had a similar experience after getting hit by a car while crossing the street. A friend who saw me and came running over actually thought I was in shock or something, because he couldn’t believe that I was taking it so calmly. The adrenalin also helped, of course—I didn’t feel any pain at all until nearly half an hour later. The only emotional reaction I can remember was extreme annoyance at the breaking of my glasses.
Oddly enough, I fall into the same category as the post author. I don’t think I’m very good at reacting swiftly, and I absorb information and handle that sort of testing very well. But I do generally manage to keep my head. I suspect this is a pretty recent development, which may affect my perception of the matter.
I’ve found one useful heuristic. If I periodically remind myself to keep cool and reevaluate the current situation, I generally get good results. Slow-reaction types tend to quickly make a bunch of assumptions when thrust into a situation calling for swift action, and weeding out the erroneous ones is very helpful.
I’ve noticed a very specific feeling—a conscious decision to stop fretting about how badly my current situation could go wrong, and to genuinely be calm and composed, focusing entirely on the situation itself. It’s hugely useful, but I don’t know how it works, or how to teach someone else to do it. I think it’s this ability that you’re talking about.
And you’re right that it transfers to other domains. I once saw a guy with this ability step on a nail. It went right through his shoe and into the sole of his foot. After a few seconds of shouting, he calmed way down, sat down, and removed his shoe. It was pretty damn bloody, and several people around him started freaking out. He began talking in a slow, confident voice to try to calm them down, and then asked them to fetch some bandages and antiseptic, while he used his sock to stanch the immediate bleeding. The guy with the bleeding wound was the one with the most level head!
If anybody can figure out a repeatable way to instill this anti-freakout reflex in someone, that would be potentially life-saving.
I know that feeling, but I don’t know how conscious it is. Basically when then outcome matters in a real immediate way and is heavily dependent on my actions, I get calm and go into ‘I must do what needs to be done’ mode. When my car lost traction in the rain and spun on the highway, I probably saved my life by reasoning how to best get control of it, pumping the break, and getting it into a clearing away from other vehicles/trees, all within a time frame that was under a minute. Immediately afterwards the thoughts running through my head were not, ‘Oh fuck I could have died!’ but ‘How could I have handled that better.’ and ‘Oh fuck, I think the car is trashed.’ It was only after I climbed out of the car that I realized I was physically shaking.
Likewise, when a man collapsed at synogogue after most people had left (there were only 6 of us), and hit his head on the table leaving a not unimpressive pool of blood on the floor, I immediately went over to him and checked his vitals and declared that someone should call an ambulance. The other people just stood around looking dumbfounded, and it turned out the problem was no one had a cell-phone on Saturday, so I called and was already giving the address by the time the man’s friend realized there was something wrong and began screaming.
Doing these things did not feel like a choice. They were the necessary next action and so I did them. Period. I don’t know how to describe that. “Emergency Programming”?
Hard to distinguish from shock/adrenaline, but cool.
I have a relevant story. I was once hiking down a mountain, and near the top I slipped and fell on a rock, cutting my knee to the bone. When I saw it, I calmly called out to the person I was hiking with to get gauze pads, without any panicking or shouting. He helped, and I was able to make it down on my own.
The way I did it was by looking at the situation and seeing what had to be done, then figuring out the best way to do it. I’m not sure if this was normal, but it was an immediate reaction for me.
Moral: Search for goals than find an optimal path to achieve them, even in stressful situations. The way to do this is by drilling a procedure in your head until you can do it by instinct. Not specifics, as you can’t plan for things like nails in your shoes. But you can plan general emergencies procedures, like remove the puncture, clean the wound, and apply pressure.
I had a similar experience after getting hit by a car while crossing the street. A friend who saw me and came running over actually thought I was in shock or something, because he couldn’t believe that I was taking it so calmly. The adrenalin also helped, of course—I didn’t feel any pain at all until nearly half an hour later. The only emotional reaction I can remember was extreme annoyance at the breaking of my glasses.
Oddly enough, I fall into the same category as the post author. I don’t think I’m very good at reacting swiftly, and I absorb information and handle that sort of testing very well. But I do generally manage to keep my head. I suspect this is a pretty recent development, which may affect my perception of the matter.
I’ve found one useful heuristic. If I periodically remind myself to keep cool and reevaluate the current situation, I generally get good results. Slow-reaction types tend to quickly make a bunch of assumptions when thrust into a situation calling for swift action, and weeding out the erroneous ones is very helpful.
Movie/book “Touching The Void”.
F’ing amazing story of not giving up.