if i had no inhibitions, i am sure that i would engage in all sorts of maladaptive and antisocial behavior, but i don’t think that i would ever feel good when someone else feels bad? even if they “deserve it”?
I’m less sure.
It’s one thing if you’re simply uninterested. Like, “People like that part? Weird. Seems boring to me”. But if you’re “freaking out” and feeling “very bad” then you’re attributing great importance. And when you skip over the section you’re seeking to avoid the stimulus.
This makes it really tough to tell what else might be there, or might grow there if you let it. Partly for the same reason that it’s tough to detect let alone enjoy the flavor of a Carolina Reaper when you’re distracted by the fire. Partly for the same reason that someone exclaiming “I can’t imagine how anyone could enjoy the pork that Allah forbids!” would have a hard time noticing that bacon is kinda delicious sometimes.
That’s not to imply that “You’re a secret sadist too” or anything. Maybe reapers taste bad under the heat, maybe it’s more like cilantro than bacon where some people just have different genes. Or maybe it’s like coffee where it tastes like shit to everyone at first… but it’s not hard to develop the taste for it if you indulge.
The point is just that until you do the experiment and peel back the inhibition it’s hard to see what’s underneath. And as you found with your friend, sometimes the answer is surprising and hard to square with your existing frameworks/models of things.
i don’t know what to make of this and i’m starting to get the feeling that a lesswrong comment thread is probably not the right place, i’m also a bit worried about de-anonymizing my friend on accident.
Then I probably shouldn’t say more about how to convince someone that sadism isn’t fun. I’ll just leave it as a note that there’s a path there, should you want to follow it.
I don’t think there’s a short answer to “what to make of this”, because it takes a lot of peeking under inhibitions and restructuring of both psychological and moral frameworks. But I think you’re right to sense the importance, and the lack of satisfactory answers.
I’m less sure.
It’s one thing if you’re simply uninterested. Like, “People like that part? Weird. Seems boring to me”. But if you’re “freaking out” and feeling “very bad” then you’re attributing great importance. And when you skip over the section you’re seeking to avoid the stimulus.
This makes it really tough to tell what else might be there, or might grow there if you let it. Partly for the same reason that it’s tough to detect let alone enjoy the flavor of a Carolina Reaper when you’re distracted by the fire. Partly for the same reason that someone exclaiming “I can’t imagine how anyone could enjoy the pork that Allah forbids!” would have a hard time noticing that bacon is kinda delicious sometimes.
That’s not to imply that “You’re a secret sadist too” or anything. Maybe reapers taste bad under the heat, maybe it’s more like cilantro than bacon where some people just have different genes. Or maybe it’s like coffee where it tastes like shit to everyone at first… but it’s not hard to develop the taste for it if you indulge.
The point is just that until you do the experiment and peel back the inhibition it’s hard to see what’s underneath. And as you found with your friend, sometimes the answer is surprising and hard to square with your existing frameworks/models of things.
Then I probably shouldn’t say more about how to convince someone that sadism isn’t fun. I’ll just leave it as a note that there’s a path there, should you want to follow it.
I don’t think there’s a short answer to “what to make of this”, because it takes a lot of peeking under inhibitions and restructuring of both psychological and moral frameworks. But I think you’re right to sense the importance, and the lack of satisfactory answers.