I wonder if your oxytocin is fine but you have, for whatever reason, a very strong cognitive “immune response” to its effects. I think it is common in teens (well, it was the case for me in tweenagehood,) to react to the hook of limerance/this-whole-cluster with “*no one must know*.” Followed in my case by trying not to dwell on it. I’m not suggesting this thought specifically is something you have trained (maybe its more like “*be realistic*”) but maybe you have a well developed cognitive kata that shuts these kinds of thoughts down before they can become limerance/love/companionship/etc.
The limerence one is intentionally there because the emotion makes obviously false claims. If I have anything like that in place for companionship or love more generally, I don’t know about it, and I’d be pretty surprised if that were the case. I would expect such a thing to feel-from-the-inside like either an “ugh” field or an anxious/stressed feeling or some other unpleasant feeling making me avoid the thing, and I don’t have any of those around the sorts of situations which normally induce feelings of companionship/love/etc.
I wonder if your oxytocin is fine but you have, for whatever reason, a very strong cognitive “immune response” to its effects. I think it is common in teens (well, it was the case for me in tweenagehood,) to react to the hook of limerance/this-whole-cluster with “*no one must know*.” Followed in my case by trying not to dwell on it. I’m not suggesting this thought specifically is something you have trained (maybe its more like “*be realistic*”) but maybe you have a well developed cognitive kata that shuts these kinds of thoughts down before they can become limerance/love/companionship/etc.
The limerence one is intentionally there because the emotion makes obviously false claims. If I have anything like that in place for companionship or love more generally, I don’t know about it, and I’d be pretty surprised if that were the case. I would expect such a thing to feel-from-the-inside like either an “ugh” field or an anxious/stressed feeling or some other unpleasant feeling making me avoid the thing, and I don’t have any of those around the sorts of situations which normally induce feelings of companionship/love/etc.