Alicorn has acted in a way that is fully determined by your behavior towards her, and anyone else would do the same in her place.
No, everyone else who’s voiced an opinion on this has said that they would never ask someone what Alicorn has asked of me: that I never post a reply to her comments, even if it’s not directed at her.
When you speak someone’s name and know that they can hear you, you are, in effect, attempting to summon them. … If you attempt to initiate conversation with someone, they give you a negative response, and you knew or should have known that they would give you a negative response, then you are pestering them.
I think that’s a large part of why I didn’t do any of that in the original comment, just in the version that Kaj asked me to post instead! Who should I listen to here, you or Kaj? Which is the real neurotypical standard that I violated?
So here is the story, as I understand it. After an interaction that did not go well, Alicorn asked you not to reply to her comments. This means “don’t pester me” (or more succinctly, “go away”).
No, as I said in my other reply to you, this isn’t Alicorn’s request at all. It’s:
-Don’t post any comments nested under Alicorn’s, irrespective of content or who the comment is directed at. -Don’t PM Alicorn, even and especially if it’s something she would want to know but prefer not be said publicly. (?) -But posting comments in reply to top-level posts is okay, because Alicorn wants to do so on my top-level posts.
You continued to participate in conversations Alicorn was involved in, by responding to other commenters, but every time you did so you spoke Alicorn’s name, even when you had no pretext for doing so.
Which comments are you talking about? Be specific. I don’t recall violating what Alicorn’s request actually was until this conversation, and even then, it wasn’t until I substituted my comment for what Kaj asked me to say, and I warned of this at the time!
You interpreted her request in a literal-minded but incorrect way; you failed to generalize from “don’t respond to my comments” to “don’t try to pull me into a conversation with you by any means”.
That’s certainly the narrative you want to put on it, sure, but if you actually look at the history of what exactly she asked for (including the very specific clarificaitons), your interpretation is mistaken.
And while I’m believably non-NT, I think I can safely guess there wasn’t a lot of nobility in your intent to reply to this comment—not when anything I could have done would have given you a pretense to build yourself up by pointing out the “obvious” error on my part.
I think that’s a large part of why I didn’t do any of that in the original comment, just in the version that Kaj asked me to post instead! Who should I listen to here, you or Kaj? Which is the real neurotypical standard that I violated?
For the record: I wasn’t fully aware of the history and magnitude of this conflict, and I didn’t realize Alicorn had specifically asked for you to not reply to her at all.
Regardless, as I remember, both versions of the comment were (are) addressed to Alicorn. It was just more implicit in the first one (“I know someone this advice hasn’t been applied to” or something along those lines, I think), but it was still pointing out that Alicorn hadn’t applied the technique to you. Therefore it was referencing her, just as strongly as if you’d mentioned her.
No, everyone else who’s voiced an opinion on this has said that they would never ask someone what Alicorn has asked of me: that I never post a reply to her comments, even if it’s not directed at her.
I think that’s a large part of why I didn’t do any of that in the original comment, just in the version that Kaj asked me to post instead! Who should I listen to here, you or Kaj? Which is the real neurotypical standard that I violated?
No, as I said in my other reply to you, this isn’t Alicorn’s request at all. It’s:
-Don’t post any comments nested under Alicorn’s, irrespective of content or who the comment is directed at.
-Don’t PM Alicorn, even and especially if it’s something she would want to know but prefer not be said publicly. (?)
-But posting comments in reply to top-level posts is okay, because Alicorn wants to do so on my top-level posts.
Which comments are you talking about? Be specific. I don’t recall violating what Alicorn’s request actually was until this conversation, and even then, it wasn’t until I substituted my comment for what Kaj asked me to say, and I warned of this at the time!
That’s certainly the narrative you want to put on it, sure, but if you actually look at the history of what exactly she asked for (including the very specific clarificaitons), your interpretation is mistaken.
And while I’m believably non-NT, I think I can safely guess there wasn’t a lot of nobility in your intent to reply to this comment—not when anything I could have done would have given you a pretense to build yourself up by pointing out the “obvious” error on my part.
For the record: I wasn’t fully aware of the history and magnitude of this conflict, and I didn’t realize Alicorn had specifically asked for you to not reply to her at all.
Regardless, as I remember, both versions of the comment were (are) addressed to Alicorn. It was just more implicit in the first one (“I know someone this advice hasn’t been applied to” or something along those lines, I think), but it was still pointing out that Alicorn hadn’t applied the technique to you. Therefore it was referencing her, just as strongly as if you’d mentioned her.