I was unclear on this point. As clarified above, I think you’re probably right that 3 parents are better than two, for the kids. But ultimately, it’s whether the arrangement is serving the parents’ interests that will determine if kids are produced. The same person who loves being in long-term, child-free poly relationships might not want to be in a child-ful poly relationship, and in fact my intuition is that a lower proportion of people who are emotionally cut out for polyamory would eventually want kids. Need data.
If you’re saying that the kinds of people who typically wish to be poly are the kinds of people who typically don’t want children, that might be so, though I haven’t seen any evidence for that hypothesis. Anecdotally, the “wants children” / “doesn’t want children” ratio seems about the same as in the general population, or maybe as in the general high-IQ population. Your original comment seemed to talk about the suitability of poly for raising children, given that the people involved want children, though.
But I actually think that the main benefit of having three parents is for the adults, not the kids. Child-raising is typically really, really tiring, at least when the children are still young enough to need constant supervision. Having a third person around would really help make things easier. At the same time, there are all kinds of studies around saying that most of the things we’d expect to have an impact on the long-term outcomes of the children actually don’t, and I’d guess that this would fall into the same category.
there are all kinds of studies around saying that most of the things we’d expect to have an impact on the long-term outcomes of the children actually don’t
Can you please give examples of this? It sounds fascinating.
The Nurture Assumption covers a lot of ground, reviews a lot of the scientific literature, and concludes that for many, many traits of interest you can divide the factors effecting them into non-parental environment and genetic factors leaving squat for parental effects. It’s a great book.
I was unclear on this point. As clarified above, I think you’re probably right that 3 parents are better than two, for the kids. But ultimately, it’s whether the arrangement is serving the parents’ interests that will determine if kids are produced. The same person who loves being in long-term, child-free poly relationships might not want to be in a child-ful poly relationship, and in fact my intuition is that a lower proportion of people who are emotionally cut out for polyamory would eventually want kids. Need data.
If you’re saying that the kinds of people who typically wish to be poly are the kinds of people who typically don’t want children, that might be so, though I haven’t seen any evidence for that hypothesis. Anecdotally, the “wants children” / “doesn’t want children” ratio seems about the same as in the general population, or maybe as in the general high-IQ population. Your original comment seemed to talk about the suitability of poly for raising children, given that the people involved want children, though.
But I actually think that the main benefit of having three parents is for the adults, not the kids. Child-raising is typically really, really tiring, at least when the children are still young enough to need constant supervision. Having a third person around would really help make things easier. At the same time, there are all kinds of studies around saying that most of the things we’d expect to have an impact on the long-term outcomes of the children actually don’t, and I’d guess that this would fall into the same category.
speaking as a parent (and someone who is poly) if it helps the parents, it helps the kids. And kids like having more adults around as resources.
Can you please give examples of this? It sounds fascinating.
The Nurture Assumption covers a lot of ground, reviews a lot of the scientific literature, and concludes that for many, many traits of interest you can divide the factors effecting them into non-parental environment and genetic factors leaving squat for parental effects. It’s a great book.