I just looked over my shoulder and asked. Turns out your question is a practical one—MBlume says he would go monogamous for me if I wanted. If he’d said this before I hacked poly, I wouldn’t have hacked poly. (He wouldn’t have said it then—he needed the information of how our relationship has gone for the past month.) Given that I’m now poly, and that we both have other partners/prospects who we’d be somewhat distressed to give up, I’m not planning to reverse the hack. It’s a matter of hassle and loss aversion mostly. But I do find it meaningful that he would monogamize himself if I were not sufficiently superpowered to have rendered it unnecessary.
But I do find it meaningful that he would monogamize himself if I were not sufficiently superpowered to have rendered it unnecessary.
Alternatively, he is able to offer this primarily because he knows it is unnecessary / your polyhack is an inseparable part of your value as a partner.
If he’d said this before I hacked poly, I wouldn’t have hacked poly… Given that I’m now poly, and that we both have other partners/prospects who we’d be somewhat distressed to give up, I’m not planning to reverse the hack.
Sounds like a pretty definitive answer to the “You just went poly for the guy!” objection.
People move city to be with people; is this necessarily any different? Especially when you know lots of people living in that city going “move here, we love it here!”
Sounds like a pretty definitive answer to the “You just went poly for the guy!” objection.
It does. Even though it doesn’t refute the “You just went poly for the guy!” assertion at all. It could well fit with “I just went with poly for the guy and it is awesome! You should try it!”
I do find it meaningful that he would monogamize himself if I were not sufficiently superpowered to have rendered it unnecessary.
Agreed. Yay. I am happier for you both now. (Is it strange that I have concerns about people I don’t know very well, because I consider them part of my extended tribe somehow? I need to ask more people if they feel this way.)
I certainly find the same on other forums and communities. I am not sufficiently part of the lesswrong community to feel a tribe-connection, but I would feel such concern for a person who went to my local RPG club (even if I’d never met them) or who attended my favourite LARP (as long as I had talked to them at least once or twice)
I just looked over my shoulder and asked. Turns out your question is a practical one—MBlume says he would go monogamous for me if I wanted. If he’d said this before I hacked poly, I wouldn’t have hacked poly. (He wouldn’t have said it then—he needed the information of how our relationship has gone for the past month.) Given that I’m now poly, and that we both have other partners/prospects who we’d be somewhat distressed to give up, I’m not planning to reverse the hack. It’s a matter of hassle and loss aversion mostly. But I do find it meaningful that he would monogamize himself if I were not sufficiently superpowered to have rendered it unnecessary.
Alternatively, he is able to offer this primarily because he knows it is unnecessary / your polyhack is an inseparable part of your value as a partner.
Sounds like a pretty definitive answer to the “You just went poly for the guy!” objection.
...I did just go poly for the guy. I just think that’s okay.
People move city to be with people; is this necessarily any different? Especially when you know lots of people living in that city going “move here, we love it here!”
I find this oddly cheerful. Go for it, then!
It does. Even though it doesn’t refute the “You just went poly for the guy!” assertion at all. It could well fit with “I just went with poly for the guy and it is awesome! You should try it!”
Agreed. Yay. I am happier for you both now. (Is it strange that I have concerns about people I don’t know very well, because I consider them part of my extended tribe somehow? I need to ask more people if they feel this way.)
I certainly find the same on other forums and communities. I am not sufficiently part of the lesswrong community to feel a tribe-connection, but I would feel such concern for a person who went to my local RPG club (even if I’d never met them) or who attended my favourite LARP (as long as I had talked to them at least once or twice)