Related, here’s a model of first romantic encounters which explicitly includes some of those “handshaking” steps:
Sociologist Murray Davis (1973), writing in the symbolic interactionist tradition, was the first to provide a systematic breakdown of the steps involved in making a successful overture. Both Trillin’s (2006) and Fowles’ (2003) accounts offer a sense of the tension and excitement involved in starting a relationship, but their accounts lack the “he said, she said” detail necessary to explicate the process delineated by Davis. The following hypothetical scenario, though it lacks nuance, serves this purpose:
Amy has decided to have her bag lunch outside in the plaza of her office building. There are several options: She can sit by herself, eat with a group of female coworkers, or sit near a man who is eating alone and reading Variety. Amy notes that the guy is “hot,” and that he looks “so good” in his business suit. Would he be open to talking with her? Amy takes the seat across from the man. She notices that his posture changes subtly toward her. She sees that he is not wearing a wedding band. Amy says, “It’s such a nice day, I couldn’t resist having lunch outside.” He smiles, and replies, “It couldn’t be nicer. It’s supposed to be like this for the next week or so.” Amy notices his smile, and then says, “I see you’re reading Variety. What type of entertainment do you like?” He responds, “I love music, especially musical theater! In fact, I just saw Mama Mia last night. Have you seen it?” Amy says that she has. They soon discover that they share a taste for jazz and bluesy rock-and-roll. Finally, Amy says, “By the way, my name is Amy.” He responds, “I’m Michael.” Before she returns to work, Amy asks, “Would you like to have lunch again tomorrow?” Michael replies, “That would be great. I’ll see you at noon.”
Davis (1973) proposed that six core tasks are involved in starting a relationship [see the initiating and experimenting stages of Knapp’s (1984) model of interaction stages for an additional account of Davis’ sequence].
First, the would-be initiator must determine whether the potential partner possesses the qualifiers that make it likely that an encounter will be worthwhile. The qualifiers that push Amy toward Michael are his good looks—a usual draw—and his business attire, perhaps a sign of success.
Second, the would-be initiator must determine whether the other is cleared for an encounter and a relationship. Amy sees that Michael is not wearing a wedding ring, and she reads his posture as suggesting that he is open to her overture.
Third, the initiator must find an opener to secure the other person’s attention and provide the person with an opportunity to make a preliminary appraisal of the initiator’s appeal. Amy comments on the weather, a generally safe conversational opener. Michael’s smile and response signal his willingness to continue the conversation.
Fourth, the initiator must seek an integrating topic, one that engages both partners. Often in such a situation, the initiator will ask questions, hoping to uncover a common interest. Amy had the benefit of a cue—Michael’s perusal of Variety. His expressed interest in musicals, and his query as to whether she had seen Mama Mia, shows his interest in continuing the conversation and the encounter.
Fifth, the initiator seeks to present a self that will be attractive to the other, which Davis (1973) referred to as the come-on self. This come-on self creates a first impression that the other can use to determine the desirability of continuing the dialogue. During Amy and Michael’s ongoing conversation about music, Amy seeks to be appealing.
Finally, the initiator or the other must schedule a second encounter. After Amy and Michael exchange names, Amy proposes they have lunch together the next day—and Michael agrees.”
(Carrie A. Bredow, Rodney M. Cate, Ted L. Huston (2008) Have We Met Before? A Conceptual Model of First Romantic Encounters. In Handbook of Relationship Initation. Psychology Press.)
Related, here’s a model of first romantic encounters which explicitly includes some of those “handshaking” steps:
(Carrie A. Bredow, Rodney M. Cate, Ted L. Huston (2008) Have We Met Before? A Conceptual Model of First Romantic Encounters. In Handbook of Relationship Initation. Psychology Press.)
http://programs.clearerthinking.org/challenge_your_deepest_beliefs.html