Not clear to me why we should think of these as different. We care about the effect on the kid, right?
I suppose that when I think about the situation when you only pretend not to understand them, I imagine something like a strict dad telling his son “Pull yourself together, you wimp!”. While if you actually don’t understand them, then I imagine a cooperative conversation between the two of you, where you not understanding them while they are crying is an obstacle both of you would like to overcome.
That makes sense. It’s a lot more like the latter: to the extent I’m capable, I’m imitating someone who really can’t understand crying kids and is trying their best to be helpful and sympathetic given that limitation.
I suppose that when I think about the situation when you only pretend not to understand them, I imagine something like a strict dad telling his son “Pull yourself together, you wimp!”. While if you actually don’t understand them, then I imagine a cooperative conversation between the two of you, where you not understanding them while they are crying is an obstacle both of you would like to overcome.
That makes sense. It’s a lot more like the latter: to the extent I’m capable, I’m imitating someone who really can’t understand crying kids and is trying their best to be helpful and sympathetic given that limitation.
I am glad to hear that.