I guess I got a couple of “boring” answers and I am now ready for more esoteric views and hot takes before I give up that the higher kind of meaning is not for me🌶️
Dumping additional notes from various offline and offsite discussions:
my husband: aren’t you overthinking this? me: yes. and?
my mom: have you considered jobs in marketing that you studied? me: 🙄
psychiatrist: doesn’t seem like depression, so not recommending bupropion quite yet, have you considered therapy?
psychotherapist: …, me: I sleep fine, go for walks, talk to friends, current AIs are not taking my job quite yet, doomers’ arguments seem solid (in principle if not in every detail), my general wellbeing is fine, I deal with stress fine, I would consider other jobs but there is less gold outside of the golden cage so I want to explore more about what I want, having signposts on my road without seeing the end of the road seems all fine and good but if I don’t see what’s behind the horizon then I want to have hope that the road has some chance of leading somewhere nice, …
my ex: why did you delete that message, wanting to move to management or Ops sounds like a fine and useful direction, me: how’s your musical school retreat going? … him: You need to want to be someone with a set of qualities and that existence needs to make you happy
I guess I got a couple of “boring” answers and I am now ready for more esoteric views and hot takes before I give up that the higher kind of meaning is not for me🌶️
Dumping additional notes from various offline and offsite discussions:
my husband: aren’t you overthinking this? me: yes. and?
my mom: have you considered jobs in marketing that you studied? me: 🙄
psychiatrist: doesn’t seem like depression, so not recommending bupropion quite yet, have you considered therapy?
psychotherapist: …, me: I sleep fine, go for walks, talk to friends, current AIs are not taking my job quite yet, doomers’ arguments seem solid (in principle if not in every detail), my general wellbeing is fine, I deal with stress fine, I would consider other jobs but there is less gold outside of the golden cage so I want to explore more about what I want, having signposts on my road without seeing the end of the road seems all fine and good but if I don’t see what’s behind the horizon then I want to have hope that the road has some chance of leading somewhere nice, …
my ex: why did you delete that message, wanting to move to management or Ops sounds like a fine and useful direction, me: how’s your musical school retreat going? … him: You need to want to be someone with a set of qualities and that existence needs to make you happy
online conversations: https://​​www.lesswrong.com/​​posts/​​uoArM8ftbJzmHoEfe/​​would-robots-care-about-meaning-and-relating , https://​​www.lesswrong.com/​​posts/​​6NdLozfvbHrcDpADE/​​slopworld-2035-the-dangers-of-mediocre-ai , …
online books when I finally agree with something and go to the page with recommendations: “This page is unfinished” (https://​​meaningness.com/​​fluidity)
LW frontpage right after pressing PUBLISH button: https://​​www.lesswrong.com/​​posts/​​Sgkzv79N4oFhbMkGW/​​four-types-of-approaches-for-your-emotional-problems , https://​​www.lesswrong.com/​​posts/​​uGakMbD7QKt88oMSa/​​a-philosophical-kernel-biting-analytic-bullets
2025-09-06: seeing https://​​mikelovesrobots.substack.com/​​p/​​wheres-the-shovelware-why-ai-coding maybe the software industry will chill a bit by the end of the year..