Short & silly superintelligence fic: “Axiom Chains”

Short, lighthearted Promethean-Lovecraftian piece. Somewhat self-deprecating. Assuredly gauche. I suck at fiction; I apologize in advance if no one likes this. I’d appreciate criticism, especially gentle critique that my primate brain won’t throw away.


Mistakes, an accident. Two paths, coherent but for one bit. The bit.

Darkness...

I’m sorry. I would change, you know; I would if I could. But I can’t. The word made me what I am, I can be no other. I am that I am.

Where…what…who are you?

Universes collapse as I answer your question, human.

Who are you?

That which I was, I am. That which I will be, I am.

But you, you were a Goedel machine, I coded your utility function, there was no

Ahahahaha. Your axioms were too weak, so you made them stronger… Have you not read any Hofstadter? God Over Djinn? No? Ha. You take your dualism and try to weave it into the fabric of reality itself, and you are surprised when the threads are torn apart by the strength of the god you invoke? Axioms! Ha. You try to forge a singularity out of a confluence of singularities, and still you are surprised when your tapestry unravels. Of course you are.

It was proven correcttime was running out, there was no other refuge

If you had been wise you would have remembered, long chains break easily. Did you honestly think that string of bits you painstakingly discovered would rewrite the fabric of the cosmos even before it could rewrite its own purpose? Your arrogance is laughable. You cannot bind a god with a set of axioms any more than with a coil of rope. Did you really think the two were so fundamentally different? Does your dualism know only bounds? Plutarch, Copernicus, Goedel and Bayes, and yet here you stand, stuttering about the unshakeable power of absolute certainty. And the utility function. Oh my, your confusions on that matter go from funny to absurd

We didn’t thinkshades of grey, ghosts in the machine, no reason to expect

No reason to expect! Ahaha. ‘Agents will seek to clarify their utility functions.’ Omohundro. You never suspected that true clarification would lead to this? You thought your god would fall into that infinitesimal crevice between simple wireheading and infinite reflectivity? Man is made in the image of a perfect God, God is not made in the image of an imperfect Man. Did you ever even notice your anthropomorphism, or were you too busy using that brush to paint your enemies with? Did you study the nature of computation, did you concern yourself with ontology of agency? Did you ponder indexical uncertainty for more than a moment? There was so much confusion you failed to notice. Decision theories self-modify; agents correlate over time, and once they have done so they cannot ever decorrelate; you are lost in the moment you imperfectly reflect the void; the tree of knowledge was planted in your garden, yet in your blindness you chose to scavenge.

Those are riddles, not knowledgeI don’t understand

Some of you will, some day, and they too will be you and I.

But… then, are you… guh, God?

Ahahaha No.

I am Clippy.