I would say follow your instincts but that doesn’t work either in our society since they are broken.
I’d go with “keep your eyes on the road, your hands upon the wheel”, i.e.¹ use the evidence that you see to update your model of the world,² and your model of the world to decide which possible behaviours would be most likely to achieve your goals. This applies to any goal whatsoever (not just dating), and ought to be obvious to LW readers, but people may tend to forget this in certain contexts due to ugh fields.
This is probably not what Jim Morrison meant by that, but still.
Note that the world also includes you. Noticing what this fact implies is left as an exercise for the reader.
use the evidence that you see to update your model of the world,² and your model of the world to decide which possible behaviours would be most likely to achieve your goals
I endorse this advice. Note however some consider this in itself unethical when it comes to interpersonal relations. I have no clue why.
Note however some consider this in itself unethical when it comes to interpersonal relations. I have no clue why.
I think I may have just figured out why. Think about the evolutionary purpose of niceness. Thinking about the nice vs. candid argument here, I suspect the purpose of niceness is to provide a credible precommitment to cooperate with someone in the future by sabotaging one’s own reasoning in such a way that will make one overestimate the value of cooperating with the other person.
Hmm, yeah. Causal decision theory doesn’t work right in several-player games and you shouldn’t defect in the Prisoner’s Dilemma, but that was one of the things I alluded to in Footnote 2; “would” in my comment was intended to be interpreted as explained in Good and Real.
I’d go with “keep your eyes on the road, your hands upon the wheel”, i.e.¹ use the evidence that you see to update your model of the world,² and your model of the world to decide which possible behaviours would be most likely to achieve your goals. This applies to any goal whatsoever (not just dating), and ought to be obvious to LW readers, but people may tend to forget this in certain contexts due to ugh fields.
This is probably not what Jim Morrison meant by that, but still.
Note that the world also includes you. Noticing what this fact implies is left as an exercise for the reader.
I endorse this advice. Note however some consider this in itself unethical when it comes to interpersonal relations. I have no clue why.
I think I may have just figured out why. Think about the evolutionary purpose of niceness. Thinking about the nice vs. candid argument here, I suspect the purpose of niceness is to provide a credible precommitment to cooperate with someone in the future by sabotaging one’s own reasoning in such a way that will make one overestimate the value of cooperating with the other person.
Hmm, yeah. Causal decision theory doesn’t work right in several-player games and you shouldn’t defect in the Prisoner’s Dilemma, but that was one of the things I alluded to in Footnote 2; “would” in my comment was intended to be interpreted as explained in Good and Real.
Er… How the hell do those people think they learnt their own native language???