Best advice I’ve seen on this topic: Give up hope for a better past. You’re absolutely right that focus on future action is correct.
And (based on clear similarity with me and people I know well), I also suspect that your standards are too high in how much you can change by yourself, on a purely intellectual first-principles basis. Getting professional psychological (or psychiatric, depending on severity of impact on your life) help can accelerate the changes you’d like to make by an order of magnitude. I’m a fan of CBT and Trigger Action Plans, but there are lots of different mechanisms that may help.
Best advice I’ve seen on this topic: Give up hope for a better past. You’re absolutely right that focus on future action is correct.
And (based on clear similarity with me and people I know well), I also suspect that your standards are too high in how much you can change by yourself, on a purely intellectual first-principles basis. Getting professional psychological (or psychiatric, depending on severity of impact on your life) help can accelerate the changes you’d like to make by an order of magnitude. I’m a fan of CBT and Trigger Action Plans, but there are lots of different mechanisms that may help.