women don’t go around being “disgusted” by every man they interact with socially. rather, most women find the idea of having sex with a randomly selected unfamiliar man disgusting, even if there’s nothing particularly the matter with him.
Well, in context of dating (or OkCupid), I guess the idea is that sex is supposed to happen, sooner or later. And if there is no “lust at first sight”, I guess that means swipe left. (I am not sure; I don’t use dating apps.)
OK, I guess I got some assumption wrong, but please explain to me which one.
people use dating apps such as OkCupid with the intention of finding a potential sexual partner (as opposed to e.g. trying to find a platonic friend)
if someone is looking for a potential sexual partner, and finds someone such that the idea of having sex with him feels disgusting, she swipes left or whatever is the UI action for “go away” (as opposed to keeping the contact just in case the feeling might change in future)
For most dating app users, I’m genuinely uncertain how representative both assumptions are, and I’d be curious to see more data regarding both (Aella’s surveys maybe?)
For me, neither assumption holds; I suspect this makes me un-representative of most users:
I decouple dating from sex, and do use these apps to find platonic acquaintances
I swipe right mostly if I predict the person is interesting to meet up with, and swipe left on the majority of “lust at first sight” profiles
Is that officially supported by the apps? Like, is there a selection like: “I am looking for… someone to marry / a one-night stand / a platonic friend”? Do you do something specific to indicate that platonic friends are what you are looking for?
I am asking because if there is such option, then probably many people use it that way. If not, then maybe your approach is unusual. (But maybe not too unusual, because otherwise people would not respond to you, or would be disappointed after meeting you?)
Depends on the app. Tinder for instance has a section called “What are you looking for?” that everyone else can see, whose selectable options include “New friends”, “Still figuring it out”, “Short-term fun”, “Long-term partner”, and a mix of the last two. People in my area use a pretty even mix of these, and their signaling is usually honest.
Well, in context of dating (or OkCupid), I guess the idea is that sex is supposed to happen, sooner or later. And if there is no “lust at first sight”, I guess that means swipe left. (I am not sure; I don’t use dating apps.)
Not sure how representative your guess is of most dating app users. Certainly isn’t the case for me.
OK, I guess I got some assumption wrong, but please explain to me which one.
people use dating apps such as OkCupid with the intention of finding a potential sexual partner (as opposed to e.g. trying to find a platonic friend)
if someone is looking for a potential sexual partner, and finds someone such that the idea of having sex with him feels disgusting, she swipes left or whatever is the UI action for “go away” (as opposed to keeping the contact just in case the feeling might change in future)
I should’ve been clearer, my bad.
For most dating app users, I’m genuinely uncertain how representative both assumptions are, and I’d be curious to see more data regarding both (Aella’s surveys maybe?)
For me, neither assumption holds; I suspect this makes me un-representative of most users:
I decouple dating from sex, and do use these apps to find platonic acquaintances
I swipe right mostly if I predict the person is interesting to meet up with, and swipe left on the majority of “lust at first sight” profiles
Is that officially supported by the apps? Like, is there a selection like: “I am looking for… someone to marry / a one-night stand / a platonic friend”? Do you do something specific to indicate that platonic friends are what you are looking for?
I am asking because if there is such option, then probably many people use it that way. If not, then maybe your approach is unusual. (But maybe not too unusual, because otherwise people would not respond to you, or would be disappointed after meeting you?)
Depends on the app. Tinder for instance has a section called “What are you looking for?” that everyone else can see, whose selectable options include “New friends”, “Still figuring it out”, “Short-term fun”, “Long-term partner”, and a mix of the last two. People in my area use a pretty even mix of these, and their signaling is usually honest.