The urgency comes from noticing that the beliefs you’re navigating by are likely insufficient, in light of new evidence. E.g. “There are no tigers around, so I can walk outside without getting eaten” is called into question when you hear a rustling in the bushes, and figuring out whether you can actually walk around outside without getting eaten can be pretty urgent. If you already know there are tigers are around, you just won’t go outside, so the urgency isn’t going to be there unless your beliefs are challenged in a time sensitive manner.
As applied to your situation, I don’t know what chance you have of getting the same or similar salary or prestige. “No chance” seems pretty hard to justify given the immense possibility space and inherent uncertainty of the future, but I don’t know your situation. It doesn’t sound like the end of the world either way to me. I’m not saying it’s not important, and if you’ve been navigating by beliefs that said you’d definitely keep that or more, then it totally makes sense that you’d be shaken when evidence comes in saying this might not be true.
At the same time, not everyone has to have the highest paying most prestigious jobs. Take my parent’s old mail man, for example. He’s got to be the happiest and most genuinely friendly person I’ve ever met. Not because he got the most prestigious job or hasn’t had struggles outside his work life, but because of the way he chooses to relate to the world with openness to what it might bring. I admire that, and want to be more like that. Making lots of money is definitely nice, and prestige is a good sign you’re doing things right and feels good for a reason. But I think a lot of what fuels these drives for salary and prestige is really an underlying drive for respect, and knowing that we’re making the most of what we can. And I think he has that, more than a lot of people in much more prestigious and higher paying careers. He definitely has more of my respect than most others in those categories, and I suspect this is also true of people closer to him—who tend to matter more than the broader society anyway.
If something happened and I found myself needing to deliver mail for a living it would be devastating to me. I’ve put in a lot of work and a lot of thoughts and expectations into being able to do other things that are higher paying and all that, so it wouldn’t just be a giant loss I would also be largely lost. I wouldn’t know what to do, where to go, and I certainly wouldn’t want to give up on what I once had. If that’s something like the potential reality you’re navigating right now, I can’t say “I get it” in that I haven’t actually been there, let alone in your shoes. But I get why it’d be tough, and overwhelming. I hope to never get there. If I do, I know who I’m looking to role model. Proof by example that there’s still something difficult to strive towards, which is very worth striving towards.
None of this makes any of it easy, of course. Life is a lot to figure out, regardless. Hopefully this makes it a little clearer what fuzzy light to aim towards, should your fear turn out to be a likely reality. And hopefully having a sketch of a line of retreat makes it easier to explore and figure out if it actually is.
Best of luck to you Joao. I’m looking forward to seeing where you go next, and how things turn out for you.
First thanks! Your empathy makes me vibrate! if it was devastating, mainly for the reasons that tube que dejar todo.
NOoo! I’m in agreement, my goal, it wouldn’t be to have the prestige at the same time, but at least manage to have a minimum stable income of say 800 dollars, which I’ve been waiting for for 13 years. I don’t have so much trouble taking care of gardens, walking dogs or working in prison. that are the things that im working now. But I didn’t see enough stability to be able to have a peaceful child or family.
The urgency comes from noticing that the beliefs you’re navigating by are likely insufficient, in light of new evidence. E.g. “There are no tigers around, so I can walk outside without getting eaten” is called into question when you hear a rustling in the bushes, and figuring out whether you can actually walk around outside without getting eaten can be pretty urgent. If you already know there are tigers are around, you just won’t go outside, so the urgency isn’t going to be there unless your beliefs are challenged in a time sensitive manner.
As applied to your situation, I don’t know what chance you have of getting the same or similar salary or prestige. “No chance” seems pretty hard to justify given the immense possibility space and inherent uncertainty of the future, but I don’t know your situation. It doesn’t sound like the end of the world either way to me. I’m not saying it’s not important, and if you’ve been navigating by beliefs that said you’d definitely keep that or more, then it totally makes sense that you’d be shaken when evidence comes in saying this might not be true.
At the same time, not everyone has to have the highest paying most prestigious jobs. Take my parent’s old mail man, for example. He’s got to be the happiest and most genuinely friendly person I’ve ever met. Not because he got the most prestigious job or hasn’t had struggles outside his work life, but because of the way he chooses to relate to the world with openness to what it might bring. I admire that, and want to be more like that. Making lots of money is definitely nice, and prestige is a good sign you’re doing things right and feels good for a reason. But I think a lot of what fuels these drives for salary and prestige is really an underlying drive for respect, and knowing that we’re making the most of what we can. And I think he has that, more than a lot of people in much more prestigious and higher paying careers. He definitely has more of my respect than most others in those categories, and I suspect this is also true of people closer to him—who tend to matter more than the broader society anyway.
If something happened and I found myself needing to deliver mail for a living it would be devastating to me. I’ve put in a lot of work and a lot of thoughts and expectations into being able to do other things that are higher paying and all that, so it wouldn’t just be a giant loss I would also be largely lost. I wouldn’t know what to do, where to go, and I certainly wouldn’t want to give up on what I once had. If that’s something like the potential reality you’re navigating right now, I can’t say “I get it” in that I haven’t actually been there, let alone in your shoes. But I get why it’d be tough, and overwhelming. I hope to never get there. If I do, I know who I’m looking to role model. Proof by example that there’s still something difficult to strive towards, which is very worth striving towards.
None of this makes any of it easy, of course. Life is a lot to figure out, regardless. Hopefully this makes it a little clearer what fuzzy light to aim towards, should your fear turn out to be a likely reality. And hopefully having a sketch of a line of retreat makes it easier to explore and figure out if it actually is.
Best of luck to you Joao. I’m looking forward to seeing where you go next, and how things turn out for you.
First thanks! Your empathy makes me vibrate! if it was devastating, mainly for the reasons that tube que dejar todo.
NOoo! I’m in agreement, my goal, it wouldn’t be to have the prestige at the same time, but at least manage to have a minimum stable income of say 800 dollars, which I’ve been waiting for for 13 years. I don’t have so much trouble taking care of gardens, walking dogs or working in prison. that are the things that im working now. But I didn’t see enough stability to be able to have a peaceful child or family.