When I first encountered the breakthrough people in the Bay I thought that surely they must be aware that 90 percent of breakthroughs are flaky, don’t last and the last 10 percent gives at most moderate benefits [or harms....].
90 percent of breakthroughs being flaky sounds plausible—I myself have definitely had my fair share of them—but the bit about the last 10 percent sounds too pessimistic to me.
For example, between 2017 and now I feel like I’ve gone from having really bad self-esteem and basically assuming that I’m a bad person who ~everyone dislikes by default (and feeling that this is terrible if they do), to generally liking myself and assuming that most people do so as well + usually not caring that much if they don’t.
While a big chunk of that came from gradual progress and e.g. finding a better community, I do also feel that were some major breakthroughs such as this one that were major discontinuities and also helped enable later progress. (The other breakthrough moments feel a little too private to share.) In that if I hadn’t had those breakthroughs, I suspect I wouldn’t have been able to find a community in the same way, as I’d have been too afraid of people’s judgment to feel fully at home in one. So even much of the gradual progress was dependent on the breakthroughs.
Also part of the reason why I got into coaching myself was that I’d previously applied some techniques to helping my friends and they told me (later, when I happened to mention to them I was considering this) that they’d found my help valuable and encouraged me to go into it. And then e.g. one client emailed me unprompted almost exactly one year later to express gratitude for the benefit they’d gotten from just a few sessions. When I asked them if I could use their message as a testimonial, they provided the following that they said was okay to share:
I attended a few IFS sessions with Kaj towards the end of 2022.
I don’t say this lightly, but the sessions with Kaj had a transformative impact on my life. Before these sessions, I was grappling with significant work and personal-related challenges. Despite trying various methods, and seeing various professionals, I hadn’t seen much improvement in this time.
However, after just a few sessions (<5) with Kaj, I overcame substantial internal barriers. This not only enabled me to be more productive again on the work I cared about but also to be kinder to myself. My subjective experience was not one of constant cycling in mental pain. I could finally apply many of the lessons I had previously learned from therapists but had been unable to implement.
I remember being surprised at how real the transformation felt. I can say now, almost a year later, that it was also not transient, but has lasted this whole time.
As a result, I successfully completed some major professional milestones. On the personal front, my life has also seen positive changes that bring me immense joy.
I owe this success to the support from Kaj and IFS. I had been sceptical of ‘discrete step’ changes after so many years of pain with little progress, but I can now say I am convinced it is possible to have significant and enduring large shifts in how you approach yourself, your life and your pursuits.
(“Some major professional milestones” and “personal positive changes” sound vague but the person shared more details privately and the things they mentioned were very concrete and significant.)
Getting this big of a lasting benefit in just a few sessions is certainly not a typical or median result but from my previous experience with these kinds of methods, I didn’t find it particularly surprising either.
90 percent of breakthroughs being flaky sounds plausible—I myself have definitely had my fair share of them—but the bit about the last 10 percent sounds too pessimistic to me.
For example, between 2017 and now I feel like I’ve gone from having really bad self-esteem and basically assuming that I’m a bad person who ~everyone dislikes by default (and feeling that this is terrible if they do), to generally liking myself and assuming that most people do so as well + usually not caring that much if they don’t.
While a big chunk of that came from gradual progress and e.g. finding a better community, I do also feel that were some major breakthroughs such as this one that were major discontinuities and also helped enable later progress. (The other breakthrough moments feel a little too private to share.) In that if I hadn’t had those breakthroughs, I suspect I wouldn’t have been able to find a community in the same way, as I’d have been too afraid of people’s judgment to feel fully at home in one. So even much of the gradual progress was dependent on the breakthroughs.
Also part of the reason why I got into coaching myself was that I’d previously applied some techniques to helping my friends and they told me (later, when I happened to mention to them I was considering this) that they’d found my help valuable and encouraged me to go into it. And then e.g. one client emailed me unprompted almost exactly one year later to express gratitude for the benefit they’d gotten from just a few sessions. When I asked them if I could use their message as a testimonial, they provided the following that they said was okay to share:
(“Some major professional milestones” and “personal positive changes” sound vague but the person shared more details privately and the things they mentioned were very concrete and significant.)
Getting this big of a lasting benefit in just a few sessions is certainly not a typical or median result but from my previous experience with these kinds of methods, I didn’t find it particularly surprising either.