Also, if you believe there are ways to improve the quality of the form, without sacrificing the essence of the original, I’m very much open to suggestions (or hell, a complete reworking of it).
I think it is likely that, somewhere in spoken-word-space, there exists a poem that accomplishes everything the original prose did, while having a more beautiful form. I think that poem would have to have changes so extensive that it would effectively be a different work. I could be wrong about that. But it seemed likely, and my goal was to preserve the original, so I went in a different direction.
Also, if you believe there are ways to improve the quality of the form, without sacrificing the essence of the original, I’m very much open to suggestions (or hell, a complete reworking of it).
I think it is likely that, somewhere in spoken-word-space, there exists a poem that accomplishes everything the original prose did, while having a more beautiful form. I think that poem would have to have changes so extensive that it would effectively be a different work. I could be wrong about that. But it seemed likely, and my goal was to preserve the original, so I went in a different direction.