When it comes to online dating, it can be very useful to really think about the properties of the medium you are using.
There was a time when Tinder ran on ELO score. That means if all the people that you like also liked you back, you were shown to a lot of people. Practically, that could be gamed by getting Tinder Gold and only swiping right on partners that already matched with you. A friend of mine who is also a dating coach said that at the time he had a week where he had three dates via online dating per day.
This means that if you ask a question such as whether long-form dating profiles are productive, it makes sense to focus on the medium in which you would write them.
I remember one rationalist who made a fermi estimate according to which there are likely around 500 women in the world who fit the criteria of what he’s looking for. He then thought about how to find one of those as his partner and went to work. He found one of the women who fit his criteria and is now happily married since 2017.
If you write a dating profile outside of a dating website you might limit the number of people who see it, but at the same time, you might still get the people you actually care about to see it.
Community-wise long-form dating profiles make it easier for other community members to help with match-making. This is especially true in our community. It’s socially awkward for a lot of people to suggest that two people in the community who are single should date. It’s a lot less awkward to tell somebody: “Hey, I think you match what X is looking for and wrote in her long-form dating profile”. At https://www.facebook.com/groups/898553654177315/ there seems to be the intention to make this even more efficient by putting up match-making bounties.
A profile that’s written to make the job of match-makers easy is likely a very different one that’s written for OkCupid. For OkCupid, it’s very important that the profile hooks the reader into reading it and makes them feel emotions while reading it. The infodump for rational matchmaking on the other hand is usually in a very fact-driven style. As an audience rationalists are likely also care more about evaluating the information.
When it comes to online dating, it can be very useful to really think about the properties of the medium you are using.
There was a time when Tinder ran on ELO score. That means if all the people that you like also liked you back, you were shown to a lot of people. Practically, that could be gamed by getting Tinder Gold and only swiping right on partners that already matched with you. A friend of mine who is also a dating coach said that at the time he had a week where he had three dates via online dating per day.
This means that if you ask a question such as whether long-form dating profiles are productive, it makes sense to focus on the medium in which you would write them.
I remember one rationalist who made a fermi estimate according to which there are likely around 500 women in the world who fit the criteria of what he’s looking for. He then thought about how to find one of those as his partner and went to work. He found one of the women who fit his criteria and is now happily married since 2017.
If you write a dating profile outside of a dating website you might limit the number of people who see it, but at the same time, you might still get the people you actually care about to see it.
Community-wise long-form dating profiles make it easier for other community members to help with match-making. This is especially true in our community. It’s socially awkward for a lot of people to suggest that two people in the community who are single should date. It’s a lot less awkward to tell somebody: “Hey, I think you match what X is looking for and wrote in her long-form dating profile”. At https://www.facebook.com/groups/898553654177315/ there seems to be the intention to make this even more efficient by putting up match-making bounties.
A profile that’s written to make the job of match-makers easy is likely a very different one that’s written for OkCupid. For OkCupid, it’s very important that the profile hooks the reader into reading it and makes them feel emotions while reading it. The infodump for rational matchmaking on the other hand is usually in a very fact-driven style. As an audience rationalists are likely also care more about evaluating the information.