I felt skeeved as well. I didn’t mind the polyamory plugs, and in general I like autobiographical bits, as they bring more of a human element into posts.
What bothered me was that the discussion about romance felt very cold, somehow. Talking about “suboptimal” relationships, saying that you “scored” your first one-night stand, and such. It sounded like you weren’t interested in other people as, well, people.
The interesting thing is that I don’t really endorse these emotional reactions to your writing. In general, I’m completely fine with PUA stuff as long as it stays ethical, which I think your post did. Nor do I feel, on an intellectual level, that there’s anything wrong with considering a relationship “suboptimal”—many relationships are that. Yet the post managed to push buttons on an emotional level anyway. For that reason, I’d very strongly prefer to not see this post on the front page, as I suspect it would give a lot of people an unreasonably negative image of this community.
I agree with you on the skeeviness of the terminology of “scoring” a one night stand; interestingly, version 1 of the post instead states that Luke “had [his] first one-night stand.” Although I haven’t compared the versions carefully, it therefore seems like version 1 may make more of an attempt to avoid that sort of language.
I think I understand where you are coming from approximately, but for clarity what specifically would liking her entail above and beyond a set of specs?
Some sense that there’s something distinct about her which would mean that lukeprog would care if she were replaced by a different woman who was as good-looking and as interested in sex with him.
Some sense that there’s something distinct about her which would mean that lukeprog
This something distinct, would a more detailed set of specs qualify? In your mind, is it that lukeprog seems to have few and shallow specs that bothers you? Or is your “distinct” distinct from specs entirely?
I felt skeeved as well. I didn’t mind the polyamory plugs, and in general I like autobiographical bits, as they bring more of a human element into posts.
What bothered me was that the discussion about romance felt very cold, somehow. Talking about “suboptimal” relationships, saying that you “scored” your first one-night stand, and such. It sounded like you weren’t interested in other people as, well, people.
The interesting thing is that I don’t really endorse these emotional reactions to your writing. In general, I’m completely fine with PUA stuff as long as it stays ethical, which I think your post did. Nor do I feel, on an intellectual level, that there’s anything wrong with considering a relationship “suboptimal”—many relationships are that. Yet the post managed to push buttons on an emotional level anyway. For that reason, I’d very strongly prefer to not see this post on the front page, as I suspect it would give a lot of people an unreasonably negative image of this community.
I agree with you on the skeeviness of the terminology of “scoring” a one night stand; interestingly, version 1 of the post instead states that Luke “had [his] first one-night stand.” Although I haven’t compared the versions carefully, it therefore seems like version 1 may make more of an attempt to avoid that sort of language.
Upvoted for distinguishing between emotional reactions and endorsed ones.
One thing that bothered me on that level was the “awesome girlfriend”—does lukeprog like her, or does she just meet a set of specs?
I think I understand where you are coming from approximately, but for clarity what specifically would liking her entail above and beyond a set of specs?
Some sense that there’s something distinct about her which would mean that lukeprog would care if she were replaced by a different woman who was as good-looking and as interested in sex with him.
This something distinct, would a more detailed set of specs qualify? In your mind, is it that lukeprog seems to have few and shallow specs that bothers you? Or is your “distinct” distinct from specs entirely?