I think I agree with the object level advice here.
Not 100% sure if I communicated the right thing with the “permanently damaged ability to trust” thing. I didn’t mean they can’t trust any more (pretty sure they can and do), but they are now more slow to trust.
Over time, as they form relationships with new people I expect the system-1 evidence to pile up which gradually moves the needle on how easily they are able to trust a new person. (i.e. I believe their experience with Person A was an extreme outlier, so overtime their distrust-o-meter would naturally regress to the mean until it’s properly calibrated, and if they do this mindfully and purposefully it may happen faster)
But also because their experience with Person A was an extreme outlier (in terms of how trustworthy they appeared and how much they violated the trust), the rate at which they come to trust new people will, at the very least, take a much longer time to recover than usual, and seems likely (and perhaps even correct in some sense) that they’ll never become quite as trusting as I currently am.
I think I agree with the object level advice here.
Not 100% sure if I communicated the right thing with the “permanently damaged ability to trust” thing. I didn’t mean they can’t trust any more (pretty sure they can and do), but they are now more slow to trust.
Over time, as they form relationships with new people I expect the system-1 evidence to pile up which gradually moves the needle on how easily they are able to trust a new person. (i.e. I believe their experience with Person A was an extreme outlier, so overtime their distrust-o-meter would naturally regress to the mean until it’s properly calibrated, and if they do this mindfully and purposefully it may happen faster)
But also because their experience with Person A was an extreme outlier (in terms of how trustworthy they appeared and how much they violated the trust), the rate at which they come to trust new people will, at the very least, take a much longer time to recover than usual, and seems likely (and perhaps even correct in some sense) that they’ll never become quite as trusting as I currently am.