most people don’t care what other people think, for almost all values of ‘other people’.
Yup. I think of this as “most people are extremely biased in their selection of ‘people’ to represent who they care about”. It’s kind of a self-inflicted motte-and-bailey (where the motte is the nice-sounding generic “other people”, and the bailey is a small subset of topics that we engage on in an even smaller subset of people that we actually care about).
From that starting point, I’m not sure you trace the path to WHY you want to care even less about people’s opinions, before describing HOW. From your examples, it seems like it’s more about topics you wish you were more independent on, rather than groups (though, of course, they’re related).
Are there topics/groups you want to care MORE about than you do? I kind of wonder if there’s a generalization about dimensions or degree of caring about others’ beliefs that could apply in all situations. “do care about beliefs related to shared values, don’t care about irrelevant beliefs that don’t touch on my values (even if they do touch on others’ values)”.
Yup. I think of this as “most people are extremely biased in their selection of ‘people’ to represent who they care about”. It’s kind of a self-inflicted motte-and-bailey (where the motte is the nice-sounding generic “other people”, and the bailey is a small subset of topics that we engage on in an even smaller subset of people that we actually care about).
From that starting point, I’m not sure you trace the path to WHY you want to care even less about people’s opinions, before describing HOW. From your examples, it seems like it’s more about topics you wish you were more independent on, rather than groups (though, of course, they’re related).
Are there topics/groups you want to care MORE about than you do? I kind of wonder if there’s a generalization about dimensions or degree of caring about others’ beliefs that could apply in all situations. “do care about beliefs related to shared values, don’t care about irrelevant beliefs that don’t touch on my values (even if they do touch on others’ values)”.