A related concept: “change amnesia”. Our general memory of our past behaviors is heavily influenced by our expected present behaviors, such that we tend not to remember how we behaved differently in the past, and have difficulty believing we were ever that dumb/lame/whatever when actually confronted with evidence (such as pictures, journal entries, etc.)
Some people have this worse than others: a couple times I’ve had clients who came to me with a large stack of personal problems, and three months later don’t know why they’re paying me because they’re not getting any changes… and then when I ask about the problems they had when they started, they usually remember telling me about those problems, but don’t remember having the problems any more. (As in, they don’t remember experiencing the problem, and don’t think that they would be the kind of person who would’ve had a problem like that!)
For me personally, I have a lot of trouble reconstructing how I thought about a subject, once I’ve self-modified on that topic, with the effect usually setting in after a few hours or overnight. (Although honestly, I’ve never tried such a reconstruction any sooner; the difficulty might set in within minutes for all I know.) So I can remember that I used to think in some messed-up way, and maybe even what behaviors resulted from that messed-up thinking, but actually simulating the previous mode of thinking becomes difficult and unnatural.
The few times I tried, I had to quit journaling out of pure embarrassment. After a few months, pretty much the only reaction I had reading old entries was: “who the hell is this idiot?”
My past self was completely alien to me, and I couldn’t even understand what the words meant. I didn’t really write for comprehension, as I thought my future self would totally understand me.
Hehe, a good point. I don’t have such a strong reaction reading old forum posts for example, though. At least I can understand them, even if I don’t agree with them.
A related concept: “change amnesia”. Our general memory of our past behaviors is heavily influenced by our expected present behaviors, such that we tend not to remember how we behaved differently in the past, and have difficulty believing we were ever that dumb/lame/whatever when actually confronted with evidence (such as pictures, journal entries, etc.)
Some people have this worse than others: a couple times I’ve had clients who came to me with a large stack of personal problems, and three months later don’t know why they’re paying me because they’re not getting any changes… and then when I ask about the problems they had when they started, they usually remember telling me about those problems, but don’t remember having the problems any more. (As in, they don’t remember experiencing the problem, and don’t think that they would be the kind of person who would’ve had a problem like that!)
For me personally, I have a lot of trouble reconstructing how I thought about a subject, once I’ve self-modified on that topic, with the effect usually setting in after a few hours or overnight. (Although honestly, I’ve never tried such a reconstruction any sooner; the difficulty might set in within minutes for all I know.) So I can remember that I used to think in some messed-up way, and maybe even what behaviors resulted from that messed-up thinking, but actually simulating the previous mode of thinking becomes difficult and unnatural.
The few times I tried, I had to quit journaling out of pure embarrassment. After a few months, pretty much the only reaction I had reading old entries was: “who the hell is this idiot?”
My past self was completely alien to me, and I couldn’t even understand what the words meant. I didn’t really write for comprehension, as I thought my future self would totally understand me.
Makes you wonder how crucial that whole value-preservation thing actually is …
Hehe, a good point. I don’t have such a strong reaction reading old forum posts for example, though. At least I can understand them, even if I don’t agree with them.