One way promises of secrecy can corrode dialogue is that they mean that if a certain topic comes up, you will either have to actively lie, actively manage things to not lie, or have obvious omissions that betray part of the secret. This puts a tax on discussion that can lead to it happening less often. This can be deliberately used by bad actors to inhibit discussion, but the dynamic is present even when the secret is noble.
E.g. friend A tells me they’re being abused, but to keep in quiet. Friend B notices some concerning but not obviously abusive behavior from friend A’s partner, and brings it to me as a mutual friend. I can either refuse to participate (which hints at the secret, or maybe friend B just thinks I’m a terrible person), or share what I know (breaks the promise), or try to have the conversation as if I don’t know the thing (which involves saying literal lies, although I think not polluting the epistemic environment). The last one is a skill you can develop and I think it’s useful, but it is dual use.
That’s assuming A really is being abused. An abuser could use this same technique to cast doubt on any concerns someone raises that they’re abusive, while not leaving me free to discuss the sources of my doubt.
One way promises of secrecy can corrode dialogue is that they mean that if a certain topic comes up, you will either have to actively lie, actively manage things to not lie, or have obvious omissions that betray part of the secret. This puts a tax on discussion that can lead to it happening less often. This can be deliberately used by bad actors to inhibit discussion, but the dynamic is present even when the secret is noble.
E.g. friend A tells me they’re being abused, but to keep in quiet. Friend B notices some concerning but not obviously abusive behavior from friend A’s partner, and brings it to me as a mutual friend. I can either refuse to participate (which hints at the secret, or maybe friend B just thinks I’m a terrible person), or share what I know (breaks the promise), or try to have the conversation as if I don’t know the thing (which involves saying literal lies, although I think not polluting the epistemic environment). The last one is a skill you can develop and I think it’s useful, but it is dual use.
That’s assuming A really is being abused. An abuser could use this same technique to cast doubt on any concerns someone raises that they’re abusive, while not leaving me free to discuss the sources of my doubt.