There’s also a huge distinction between the set of standards it’s possible to try to hold oneself to, which is a set you will mostly feel on-board with or at worst conflicted about—
(Like, when you try to hold yourself to a standard you either think it’s good/correct to do so or at least a part of you thinks it’s good/correct to do so)
—versus the set of standards you could try to hold someone else to, which contains a lot of stuff that they might reject or disagree with or think stupid, etc.
The kinds of conflict that can emerge, internally, from trying to hold myself to some standard are very very different from the kinds of conflict that can emerge, interpersonally, from trying to hold someone else to some standard. The former has way fewer ways in which it can go explosively wrong in the broader social web.
There’s also a huge distinction between the set of standards it’s possible to try to hold oneself to, which is a set you will mostly feel on-board with or at worst conflicted about—
(Like, when you try to hold yourself to a standard you either think it’s good/correct to do so or at least a part of you thinks it’s good/correct to do so)
—versus the set of standards you could try to hold someone else to, which contains a lot of stuff that they might reject or disagree with or think stupid, etc.
The kinds of conflict that can emerge, internally, from trying to hold myself to some standard are very very different from the kinds of conflict that can emerge, interpersonally, from trying to hold someone else to some standard. The former has way fewer ways in which it can go explosively wrong in the broader social web.