This was all so reasonable and positively feminine, I repeatedly got the feeling she’s yanking our chains (or something else) with a wish fulfillment female.
I’m not sure what acting feminine means but I don’t think it’s anything I
require in relationships. As far as feminine dress, I like it when a
girlfriend does this at least occasionally but it’s not super-important.
I am most fulfilled when I’m in a M-dom f-sub relationship.
I prefer an egalitarian relationship both in and out of the bedroom, and
confess to being somewhat squicked by other preferences. (But I view this as a
personal taste issue and don’t hold other people’s different preferences
against them.)
My favourite activity is cooking and my honest-to-god favourite place in the
house is the kitchen.
Having a girlfriend who can cook well is great! But I don’t think of cooking
as a female duty and would not think that a girlfriend who was a bad cook [edit: or didn’t like to cook or whatever] was
failing to fulfill her role in the relationship. Same with a wife or mother.
(Other demographic info: I’m an American thirtysomething nerdy
SWPL.)
There’s another reason that I come out on a different side to most women in feminism and gender discussions though, and this is the bit I’m only saying because it’s anonymous. I’m not a typical woman. I act, dress and style feminine because I enjoy feeling like a princess. I am most fulfilled when I’m in a M-dom f-sub relationship. My favourite activity is cooking and my honest-to-god favourite place in the house is the kitchen. I take pride in making awesome sandwiches. I just can’t alieve it’s offensive when I hear “get in the kitchen”, because I’d just be like “ok! :D”. I love sex, and I value getting better at it. I want to be able to have sex like a porn star. Suppressing my gag reflex is one of the most useful things I learned all year. I love being hit on and seduced by men. When I dress sexy, it is because male attention turns me on. I love getting wolf whistles. Because of luminosity and self-awareness, I’m ever-conscious of the vagina tingle. I’m aware of when I’m turned on, and I don’t rationalise it away. And the same testosterone that makes me good at a male-dominated subject, makes sure I’m really easily turned on.
Not to imply that the submitter isn’t being honest, but yeah, she does come across as the kind of girl lonely geeks fantasize about. If this were a dating site profile, I’d strongly consider sending her a message...
You mean most of the other lonely male geeks fantasize about this kind of stuff?
My generalizations from one example were way off the mark, I guess. A girl that loves sex I can imagine, but all the rest of that I wouldn’t have expected geek males to fantasize about. I would tend to think a SuicideGirl playing MMOs is the supreme ultimate holy grail of epic geek fantasies, according to my mental model.
*[insert stock audio loop of updates and recalibration]*
No, I’m assuming that similar personalities fantasize about similar thingspace-clusters of types of girls, and that they are less likely to or less often fantasize about variations or differences from the center of this cluster proportionally to said variations’ distance from it.
In plainspeak: I think “loves being in the kitchen and making you a sandwich” is conceptually far enough from “has tatoos, is rebellious and plays MMOs all day” that geeks would rarely fantasize about it, given the assumption that the latter is what they fantasize most about and that the more different it is from that ideal, the less likely they are to fantasize about it.
Other described traits I reason with in the same manner, with the exception of wanting sex, where I evaluate it as independent of geek-ness; most males tend to like this regardless of geekness, and the types who don’t don’t seem particularly under- or over-represented among geeks or nerds to my knowledge.
Or… was assuming this. As I mentioned, there were some updates made following this discussion, and it’s been a while since then; other events have also allowed me to update related things in different directions.
But for some of us, that’s not a bug, it’s a feature, and she seems to be one of “us”.
Her first link is a youtube clip of a musical, with the song “I enjoy being a girl.” What a breath of fresh air. I feel the need to watch a Doris Day movie.
It’s the healthier version of a book cover of L’unique et sa propriété (The Ego and His Own, Max Stirner) that I liked regardless.
This was all so reasonable and positively feminine, I repeatedly got the feeling she’s yanking our chains (or something else) with a wish fulfillment female.
I’m a straight male. For what it’s worth:
I’m not sure what acting feminine means but I don’t think it’s anything I require in relationships. As far as feminine dress, I like it when a girlfriend does this at least occasionally but it’s not super-important.
I prefer an egalitarian relationship both in and out of the bedroom, and confess to being somewhat squicked by other preferences. (But I view this as a personal taste issue and don’t hold other people’s different preferences against them.)
Having a girlfriend who can cook well is great! But I don’t think of cooking as a female duty and would not think that a girlfriend who was a bad cook [edit: or didn’t like to cook or whatever] was failing to fulfill her role in the relationship. Same with a wife or mother.
(Other demographic info: I’m an American thirtysomething nerdy SWPL.)
Not to imply that the submitter isn’t being honest, but yeah, she does come across as the kind of girl lonely geeks fantasize about. If this were a dating site profile, I’d strongly consider sending her a message...
You mean most of the other lonely male geeks fantasize about this kind of stuff?
My generalizations from one example were way off the mark, I guess. A girl that loves sex I can imagine, but all the rest of that I wouldn’t have expected geek males to fantasize about. I would tend to think a SuicideGirl playing MMOs is the supreme ultimate holy grail of epic geek fantasies, according to my mental model.
*[insert stock audio loop of updates and recalibration]*
/me shrugs
The other part of it was that she said that she was in a STEM field herself, so I probably assumed too much just from that...
Funny thing, I had the exact same
thought, even though I don’t find a lot of those things attractive, come to think. Cultural conditioning? Subliminal messages?
I thought the kind of girl lonely geeks fantasized about wore a gold bikini.
You’re assuming they only fantasize about one type of girl.
No, I’m assuming that similar personalities fantasize about similar thingspace-clusters of types of girls, and that they are less likely to or less often fantasize about variations or differences from the center of this cluster proportionally to said variations’ distance from it.
In plainspeak: I think “loves being in the kitchen and making you a sandwich” is conceptually far enough from “has tatoos, is rebellious and plays MMOs all day” that geeks would rarely fantasize about it, given the assumption that the latter is what they fantasize most about and that the more different it is from that ideal, the less likely they are to fantasize about it.
Other described traits I reason with in the same manner, with the exception of wanting sex, where I evaluate it as independent of geek-ness; most males tend to like this regardless of geekness, and the types who don’t don’t seem particularly under- or over-represented among geeks or nerds to my knowledge.
Or… was assuming this. As I mentioned, there were some updates made following this discussion, and it’s been a while since then; other events have also allowed me to update related things in different directions.
Yes, or to those most worried about being creepy,somebody who they won’t accidentally hurt.
I don’t think anything dishonest is happening, but maybe that E was being a little self-indulgent about being that way.
I rather thought that was the point of the series?
Well,sefl-indulgent in an unexpected direction.
But for some of us, that’s not a bug, it’s a feature, and she seems to be one of “us”.
Her first link is a youtube clip of a musical, with the song “I enjoy being a girl.” What a breath of fresh air. I feel the need to watch a Doris Day movie.
It’s the healthier version of a book cover of L’unique et sa propriété (The Ego and His Own, Max Stirner) that I liked regardless.
http://a4.ec-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/5/ca07185879ef43bd91b74c3d4b3b42c1/l.jpg