Things like this are 90% self-confidence and 10% innate weirdness. Talk about it like it’s obvious, normal, and you’re part of a community of smart people out there, and they’ll pick up on the cues.
I know saying that won’t help a lot of people, but it’s what I do. When I introduce cryonics to someone, I don’t sound nervous and timid and censure-expecting, I take off my necklace and say “This is my contract of immortality with the cult of the severed head.”
I actually have the self confidence that it’s the correct decision, just not that I’ll be socially accepted. Analogously, I came out about being bi many years back and was completely wrong—it appears to be fine among people I know. It’s completely reasonable that I may be wrong again. Have you found that cryonics is socially acceptable, or do you just think it’s important to change its reputation?
I have found that anything is socially acceptable so long as you effectively signal that your non-conformity is a choice, not a result of an inability to conform or a way of coping with fear of rejection. Weird is NEVER OK with successful people. Deliberately different is ALWAYS OK so long as you are willing to not draw attention to it all the time.
Example. Vibrams with a suit are generally the best attire for most formal situations in my experience. You show that you are able and willing to conform, not psychologically unable to do so, but you also show that you aren’t afraid of the penalties for not conforming and that you will stand up for some principles some of the time. That’s attractive. The devil classically does it, in myths where he can/will take any form and disguise himself perfectly except for retaining cloven hooves, a tail and/or some similar indication of his identity.
So the trick to doing what you suggest is to conform on most axes, but be obviously non-conformist about the things you care about in a confident, but not confrontational way?
Of course not in a courtroom. That’s not “most formal situations” but rather almost literally a contest to publicly display willingness to conform to elite norms and generally to submit.
Can you elaborate on this? It seems obviously wrong to me.
I also don’t understand how wearing Vibrams with a suit to a formal occasion signals anything but lack of fashion sense and being unaware of social norms. I mean, sure, if you’re in charge, you can wear whatever you want, but if you’re not in charge, someone seeing you wear footwear that doesn’t go with the clothes will just think you don’t know how to dress appropriately.
It’s a matter of how far you push it. It wouldn’t belong at a funeral or an opera, but it works well in any situation where a suit would be desirable but not close to mandatory. You want to signal awareness but lack of fear, not insensitivity. Vibrams aren’t something that someone could wear by mistake, or out of carelessness. Pushing things somewhat farther, you could be formally dressed with a very conspicuous fake tattoo.
I’m wondering how much the vibrams + business suit works because you’re dealing with geeks, so that they’re responsive to a weird/cool/potentially practical combination—something which I don’t think would go over well with mainstream bankers.
It works with a variety of types, not just geeks, as do the fake tattoos. It might not work with heirarchy climbing types, especially with the fearful types who climb a little way up a heirarchy and then sit there unable to go further, but I think its frequently a mistake to have anything to do with such people anyway except when absolutely necessary. You can’t influence their behavior with ideas, friendship or passion, only with fear of being ostracized or (to a much lesser extent) penalized.
I talk about the idea with a lot of people, and no one seems to think poorly of me for wanting to do it, though many people say they wouldn’t want to. I just don’t see it as that weird or not socially acceptable.
Things like this are 90% self-confidence and 10% innate weirdness. Talk about it like it’s obvious, normal, and you’re part of a community of smart people out there, and they’ll pick up on the cues.
I know saying that won’t help a lot of people, but it’s what I do. When I introduce cryonics to someone, I don’t sound nervous and timid and censure-expecting, I take off my necklace and say “This is my contract of immortality with the cult of the severed head.”
Aren’t you signed up with CI, which doesn’t do neuro? Whence the severed head?
I actually have the self confidence that it’s the correct decision, just not that I’ll be socially accepted. Analogously, I came out about being bi many years back and was completely wrong—it appears to be fine among people I know. It’s completely reasonable that I may be wrong again. Have you found that cryonics is socially acceptable, or do you just think it’s important to change its reputation?
I have found that anything is socially acceptable so long as you effectively signal that your non-conformity is a choice, not a result of an inability to conform or a way of coping with fear of rejection. Weird is NEVER OK with successful people. Deliberately different is ALWAYS OK so long as you are willing to not draw attention to it all the time.
Example. Vibrams with a suit are generally the best attire for most formal situations in my experience. You show that you are able and willing to conform, not psychologically unable to do so, but you also show that you aren’t afraid of the penalties for not conforming and that you will stand up for some principles some of the time. That’s attractive. The devil classically does it, in myths where he can/will take any form and disguise himself perfectly except for retaining cloven hooves, a tail and/or some similar indication of his identity.
So the trick to doing what you suggest is to conform on most axes, but be obviously non-conformist about the things you care about in a confident, but not confrontational way?
Ew. I really hope no one seriously does that. Especially in a courtroom.
Of course not in a courtroom. That’s not “most formal situations” but rather almost literally a contest to publicly display willingness to conform to elite norms and generally to submit.
Can you elaborate on this? It seems obviously wrong to me.
I also don’t understand how wearing Vibrams with a suit to a formal occasion signals anything but lack of fashion sense and being unaware of social norms. I mean, sure, if you’re in charge, you can wear whatever you want, but if you’re not in charge, someone seeing you wear footwear that doesn’t go with the clothes will just think you don’t know how to dress appropriately.
It’s a matter of how far you push it. It wouldn’t belong at a funeral or an opera, but it works well in any situation where a suit would be desirable but not close to mandatory. You want to signal awareness but lack of fear, not insensitivity. Vibrams aren’t something that someone could wear by mistake, or out of carelessness. Pushing things somewhat farther, you could be formally dressed with a very conspicuous fake tattoo.
I’m wondering how much the vibrams + business suit works because you’re dealing with geeks, so that they’re responsive to a weird/cool/potentially practical combination—something which I don’t think would go over well with mainstream bankers.
It works with a variety of types, not just geeks, as do the fake tattoos. It might not work with heirarchy climbing types, especially with the fearful types who climb a little way up a heirarchy and then sit there unable to go further, but I think its frequently a mistake to have anything to do with such people anyway except when absolutely necessary. You can’t influence their behavior with ideas, friendship or passion, only with fear of being ostracized or (to a much lesser extent) penalized.
Unfortunately, the Vibrams-and-suit look is derivative and geeky, not original; but the principle (even applied using Vibrams) certainly works for me.
So you will be wearing Vibrams at the Singularity Summit?
(there is actually some legitimate market demand for barefoot type shoes that are styled appropriately to be worn formally)
There are Vivo Barefoots, which are probably more appropriate.
I talk about the idea with a lot of people, and no one seems to think poorly of me for wanting to do it, though many people say they wouldn’t want to. I just don’t see it as that weird or not socially acceptable.