I have a stupidly difficult time talking to people, too, especially my parents (who pretty much have to manage all the details, because of course they do). This does not help.
Yes, I’ve read all the Akrasia articles on Lesswrong that I can find. Mostly, I’m hoping there’s someone better equipped to fix this than me or the internet, and that someone can help me find that entity and extract a solution from them.
(But if that someone happens to post the solution here, first, that’d be nice. Although turning it into an arduous quest through the temple of doom seems like it could only help, assuming no crippling injuries along the way.)
Try doing whatever it is you need to do (not sure from your posting) physically with other people doing the same thing. I’ve found that this is both the lowest effort and most effective way for me to overcome akrasia. If you feel like you can’t motivate yourself, put yourself somewhere where your goals are downhill from you and let gravity carry you.
Not sure what your exact goals are, but feel free to ask if you want more help.
Try doing whatever it is you need to do (not sure from your posting) physically with other people doing the same thing.
I’m blind and live in Northeast Arkansas and have no friends and the only part of this that seems like it should be easy is getting over the anxiety that prevents me from walking to the bus stop (I still haven’t done this. I’ve spoken to DSB about it but have no idea if anything will come of this). And my social skills are only technically extant.
I did try something last year where I talked to someone on Skype between us both trying pomodoros and such. I only lasted about a week.
For what it’s worth, when I first started trying to improve my social skills, I spent a fair amount of time chatting with strangers at bus stops. I guess the less wrong study hall is probably not as useful for pomodoros if you can’t see (since I don’t think people usually actually talk much).
Speaking of, I should probably try pomodoros again :) I’ve also failed to adopt them usefully the last couple times
Have you looked at whether there are times when your capacity for action and/or enjoyment is better? When it’s worse? This might give you some hypotheses to test to get some improvement.
I’ll tentatively recommend a diet that’s low in simple carbs (refined sugars and refined grains)-- too much sugar knocks me out in a way that looks like an emotional problem, when what’s actually going on is that I’m being poisoned.
If you’re very fond of simple carbs (it seems to me that the taste of sugar cuts through depression more than a lot of other sensations), start by adding more high protein, high fat, and high fiber foods rather than trying to cut back on the simple carbs directly. I may be assuming that you have more flexibility about what food is available than you’re actually got, though.
Have you looked at whether there are times when your capacity for action and/or enjoyment is better? When it’s worse? This might give you some hypotheses to test to get some improvement.
I tried to do a somewhat quantified analysis of pairs of years, starting from 2002 (anything before 2002 is distorted by lots of things that I can’t change without technology and the rest of the world obliging). I found that the best phases seemed to correlate most strongly with something resembling enforced pomodoros, and something resembling access to people. Trying to artificially recreate these conditions is much harder than it sounds, and I have a sinking suspicion that there are some long-term effects of all this that would make it an uphill battle even then.
\
Agreed and attempted. Too much sugar and carbs in a short span of time has a horrible effect; smaller amounts of sugar over a longer period seem to help, and there is a mild but noticeable improvement from other types of food, but I’ve never managed to sort out anything better than “find a way to get away from the concentrated sugars ASAP”.
There are a lot more things you can try. You could look for supplements that might help improve your mood. Examine.com seems like a good resource. Also, consider trying Bulletproof Coffee. A low cost approach might be saying an affirmation to yourself several times as day such as “I will be happy and productive!” You could also do neurofeedback, buy an inversion table, or go paleo. (I’m not a medical doctor.)
I personally switched to pomodoros by setting low goals at the beginning. The goal was simple to complete one pomodoro per day. Successful completion then allowed me to raise the number.
I’ve tried this more than once. Each time shows some improvement (each time, it’s less than the previous) for maybe a week or so at most, followed by horrible crashing.
Well, I found that extremely relatable. In fact, you might as well have been describing me, except my financial situation is a bit worse and my vision is a bit better. A solution sure would be nice.
(Akrasia, because that’s all I ever talk about):
I do not know to whose attention I should bring this so as to combat the problem, so I’m asking here:
http://caejones.livejournal.com/18117.html
I have a stupidly difficult time talking to people, too, especially my parents (who pretty much have to manage all the details, because of course they do). This does not help.
Yes, I’ve read all the Akrasia articles on Lesswrong that I can find. Mostly, I’m hoping there’s someone better equipped to fix this than me or the internet, and that someone can help me find that entity and extract a solution from them.
(But if that someone happens to post the solution here, first, that’d be nice. Although turning it into an arduous quest through the temple of doom seems like it could only help, assuming no crippling injuries along the way.)
Try doing whatever it is you need to do (not sure from your posting) physically with other people doing the same thing. I’ve found that this is both the lowest effort and most effective way for me to overcome akrasia. If you feel like you can’t motivate yourself, put yourself somewhere where your goals are downhill from you and let gravity carry you.
Not sure what your exact goals are, but feel free to ask if you want more help.
I’m blind and live in Northeast Arkansas and have no friends and the only part of this that seems like it should be easy is getting over the anxiety that prevents me from walking to the bus stop (I still haven’t done this. I’ve spoken to DSB about it but have no idea if anything will come of this). And my social skills are only technically extant.
I did try something last year where I talked to someone on Skype between us both trying pomodoros and such. I only lasted about a week.
For what it’s worth, when I first started trying to improve my social skills, I spent a fair amount of time chatting with strangers at bus stops. I guess the less wrong study hall is probably not as useful for pomodoros if you can’t see (since I don’t think people usually actually talk much).
Speaking of, I should probably try pomodoros again :) I’ve also failed to adopt them usefully the last couple times
Have you looked at whether there are times when your capacity for action and/or enjoyment is better? When it’s worse? This might give you some hypotheses to test to get some improvement.
I’ll tentatively recommend a diet that’s low in simple carbs (refined sugars and refined grains)-- too much sugar knocks me out in a way that looks like an emotional problem, when what’s actually going on is that I’m being poisoned.
If you’re very fond of simple carbs (it seems to me that the taste of sugar cuts through depression more than a lot of other sensations), start by adding more high protein, high fat, and high fiber foods rather than trying to cut back on the simple carbs directly. I may be assuming that you have more flexibility about what food is available than you’re actually got, though.
I tried to do a somewhat quantified analysis of pairs of years, starting from 2002 (anything before 2002 is distorted by lots of things that I can’t change without technology and the rest of the world obliging). I found that the best phases seemed to correlate most strongly with something resembling enforced pomodoros, and something resembling access to people. Trying to artificially recreate these conditions is much harder than it sounds, and I have a sinking suspicion that there are some long-term effects of all this that would make it an uphill battle even then.
Agreed and attempted. Too much sugar and carbs in a short span of time has a horrible effect; smaller amounts of sugar over a longer period seem to help, and there is a mild but noticeable improvement from other types of food, but I’ve never managed to sort out anything better than “find a way to get away from the concentrated sugars ASAP”.
There are a lot more things you can try. You could look for supplements that might help improve your mood. Examine.com seems like a good resource. Also, consider trying Bulletproof Coffee. A low cost approach might be saying an affirmation to yourself several times as day such as “I will be happy and productive!” You could also do neurofeedback, buy an inversion table, or go paleo. (I’m not a medical doctor.)
What happened when you attempted to do pomodoros?
I personally switched to pomodoros by setting low goals at the beginning. The goal was simple to complete one pomodoro per day. Successful completion then allowed me to raise the number.
I’ve tried this more than once. Each time shows some improvement (each time, it’s less than the previous) for maybe a week or so at most, followed by horrible crashing.
Well, I found that extremely relatable. In fact, you might as well have been describing me, except my financial situation is a bit worse and my vision is a bit better. A solution sure would be nice.