As I understand reform Judaism, it’s largely cultural and the technical requirements are pretty light. Yom Kippur is kind of a huge deal, but there aren’t many others, and it boils down to a day in which to fast and contemplate what you’ve done and done wrong over the past year. There are perfectly good secular reasons to spend a day on that once a year. He likely has some other similar asks (e.g. passover Seder) but overall they don’t add up to much and if you live in different cities it’s not like he can check. Nor does it seem like he was trying to.
What he actually cares about, de facto, is you explicitly rejecting what he’s trying to pass on to you. It’s hurtful, it’s insulting, it makes him feel like a failure to himself and his people. So… don’t do that? One is stuck with one’s family. Sometimes you gotta whistle and pretend everything is fine, especially when getting financial support but also cause you care about each other.
As I understand reform Judaism, it’s largely cultural and the technical requirements are pretty light. Yom Kippur is kind of a huge deal, but there aren’t many others, and it boils down to a day in which to fast and contemplate what you’ve done and done wrong over the past year. There are perfectly good secular reasons to spend a day on that once a year. He likely has some other similar asks (e.g. passover Seder) but overall they don’t add up to much and if you live in different cities it’s not like he can check. Nor does it seem like he was trying to.
What he actually cares about, de facto, is you explicitly rejecting what he’s trying to pass on to you. It’s hurtful, it’s insulting, it makes him feel like a failure to himself and his people. So… don’t do that? One is stuck with one’s family. Sometimes you gotta whistle and pretend everything is fine, especially when getting financial support but also cause you care about each other.