For me it’s not so much “there is no help available” that spurs me to try things as “no one will ever know if I fail”. If I think I may break something by trying it, I’m much more likely to ask for help. If someone knows I am trying something, it will be embarrassing to fail. Even worse if someone will not only know, but be annoyed that I’ve bungled it when they have to fix it!
I’m also hesitant to speak up unless I’m sure of what I’m saying (because how dare I take up others’ time by being wrong?), which means people who are quick to blurt out their ideas without double- and triple-checking are faster to respond—so I’m only heard when I have something to say that I’m confident of and that no one else has yet thought of. It’s a little bit dispiriting to have the same knowledge as others and never get to show evidence of it.
I don’t enjoy asking for help—I’d rather figure things out myself—but I hate being recognized for screwing something up more.
I find attention very helpful in cases where the limiting factor is not my ability, but my akrasia. I need to feel like my audience would jump on me if I didn’t update a chapter of my fiction when I said I would; in school, I needed to expect my teachers to notice and care if I didn’t show up to class (this meant I got very little academic value out of my semester abroad, since they didn’t, so I didn’t); etc. But when I don’t know quite what I’m doing in some minor-but-essential way, having help handy ensures that I will not learn to do it.
For me it’s not so much “there is no help available” that spurs me to try things as “no one will ever know if I fail”. If I think I may break something by trying it, I’m much more likely to ask for help. If someone knows I am trying something, it will be embarrassing to fail. Even worse if someone will not only know, but be annoyed that I’ve bungled it when they have to fix it!
I’m also hesitant to speak up unless I’m sure of what I’m saying (because how dare I take up others’ time by being wrong?), which means people who are quick to blurt out their ideas without double- and triple-checking are faster to respond—so I’m only heard when I have something to say that I’m confident of and that no one else has yet thought of. It’s a little bit dispiriting to have the same knowledge as others and never get to show evidence of it.
I don’t enjoy asking for help—I’d rather figure things out myself—but I hate being recognized for screwing something up more.
I find attention very helpful in cases where the limiting factor is not my ability, but my akrasia. I need to feel like my audience would jump on me if I didn’t update a chapter of my fiction when I said I would; in school, I needed to expect my teachers to notice and care if I didn’t show up to class (this meant I got very little academic value out of my semester abroad, since they didn’t, so I didn’t); etc. But when I don’t know quite what I’m doing in some minor-but-essential way, having help handy ensures that I will not learn to do it.