Sorry, that came out sounding wrong. The right to say no is paramount, I didn’t mean to imply that one party should “put out” more.
What I meant was that our culture generally ignores the importance of sexual compatibility, to the point that it’s implied it shouldn’t be considered as a factor in relationships at all. As such, the unhappy party in a sexually incompatible couple is always seen as in the wrong, because if they “really loved” the other person than something as trivial as sex shouldn’t break up a “perfectly good” relationship. This perverse downplaying of one of the most important aspects of a romantic relationship has lead to huge amounts of entirely avoidable heartbreak and divorce. Every decent pre-marriage questionnaire or councilor includes questions about financial styles, parenting, and life goals, but almost none ask “What is the optimal amount of sex?”—even though this should be a required question in big bold letters! Sexual compatibility is important, and society is stupid for ignoring it.
Every decent pre-marriage questionnaire or councilor includes questions about financial styles, parenting, and life goals, but almost none ask “What is the optimal amount of sex?”
Don’t they? Really? That’s a really bizarre oversight if so. I’ve usually had that question come up even pre “actually formally calling it a relationship” conversations.
Well, it probably varies based on where you live. It was certainly was a blind spot in my teen/young adult environment, so I’m very aware of it. Much of America is still stuck in the pre-sexual dark ages.
Sorry, that came out sounding wrong. The right to say no is paramount, I didn’t mean to imply that one party should “put out” more.
What I meant was that our culture generally ignores the importance of sexual compatibility, to the point that it’s implied it shouldn’t be considered as a factor in relationships at all. As such, the unhappy party in a sexually incompatible couple is always seen as in the wrong, because if they “really loved” the other person than something as trivial as sex shouldn’t break up a “perfectly good” relationship. This perverse downplaying of one of the most important aspects of a romantic relationship has lead to huge amounts of entirely avoidable heartbreak and divorce. Every decent pre-marriage questionnaire or councilor includes questions about financial styles, parenting, and life goals, but almost none ask “What is the optimal amount of sex?”—even though this should be a required question in big bold letters! Sexual compatibility is important, and society is stupid for ignoring it.
Don’t they? Really? That’s a really bizarre oversight if so. I’ve usually had that question come up even pre “actually formally calling it a relationship” conversations.
Well, it probably varies based on where you live. It was certainly was a blind spot in my teen/young adult environment, so I’m very aware of it. Much of America is still stuck in the pre-sexual dark ages.