Hey, pdf23ds, please speak up if you do not welcome attempts by me to help you, and I will shut right up, but could it be that the reason you feel the need for such a high level of compatability is that you consider it necessary for you to understand her and for her to understand you sufficiently well? Women are quite different than you and I! They are from a different planet! (Not really, of course, but it is an apt metaphor.) But I think I understood my girlfriends well enough to steer the future into quite wonderful territory even though they’re from another planet. The best roads to understanding are the study of evolutionary psychology and simple experience being in a relationship. (Again I have 8 years.)
Women are quite different than you and I! They are from a different planet!
This is called “othering”. It is not nice. Certain amounts may be required for accuracy, but this much is uncalled for.
Edit: If you think something is wrong with my identification and/or evaluation of othering, I’d be interested to hear it. I brought it up because the parent commenter has mentioned wishing to speak more sensitively in the past.
Voters: since I explicitly asked Alicorn to point out objectifying language to me, and that sort of thing, it pains me that her doing what I asked is currently costing her 3 karma. Yeah, I think some of the writers who favor terms like “objectifying language” and “othering” are silly and counterproductive, but Alicorn strikes me as quite sensible and a good person to teach me concepts that will help me get along better with people high the Big Five personality trait agreeableness.
In the process of trying to rewrite what I said, I realized that I had no insight into pdf23ds’s reasons for adopting the (1/300 to 1⁄400) compatability target, so I should have kept silent.
(I would have deleted my comment, but now it is the subject of responses.)
Hey, pdf23ds, please speak up if you do not welcome attempts by me to help you, and I will shut right up, but could it be that the reason you feel the need for such a high level of compatability is that you consider it necessary for you to understand her and for her to understand you sufficiently well? Women are quite different than you and I! They are from a different planet! (Not really, of course, but it is an apt metaphor.) But I think I understood my girlfriends well enough to steer the future into quite wonderful territory even though they’re from another planet. The best roads to understanding are the study of evolutionary psychology and simple experience being in a relationship. (Again I have 8 years.)
This is called “othering”. It is not nice. Certain amounts may be required for accuracy, but this much is uncalled for.
Edit: If you think something is wrong with my identification and/or evaluation of othering, I’d be interested to hear it. I brought it up because the parent commenter has mentioned wishing to speak more sensitively in the past.
Voters: since I explicitly asked Alicorn to point out objectifying language to me, and that sort of thing, it pains me that her doing what I asked is currently costing her 3 karma. Yeah, I think some of the writers who favor terms like “objectifying language” and “othering” are silly and counterproductive, but Alicorn strikes me as quite sensible and a good person to teach me concepts that will help me get along better with people high the Big Five personality trait agreeableness.
In the process of trying to rewrite what I said, I realized that I had no insight into pdf23ds’s reasons for adopting the (1/300 to 1⁄400) compatability target, so I should have kept silent.
(I would have deleted my comment, but now it is the subject of responses.)