This is a perfect exemplar of something I really hate about this website. A poster asks for advice about how to buy a diamond, and instead he gets mostly replies saying “don’t buy a diamond.” I will try and actually be helpful.
My advice would be:
Your girlfriend probably has much stronger views than you do about jewellery, and after all she will be the one wearing it. Propose with a “fake” ring, then go shopping for the “real” ring together. I got a very nice-looking ring off Amazon for £10 to propose with. This minimises the chance of making a bad decision, and is also a romantic thing to do together.
If you do insist on buying the ring beforehand, make sure you can take it back. Many places will do returns within 30 days. Borrow a ring she finds comfortable to get the sizing.
Do not get hung up about high degrees of quality. VS2 clarity and H colour is plenty. She will never tell the difference between having a VS2 and VVS1 diamond on her finger—these differences are only visible when put next to another diamond in the right light, which will never happen.
But make sure the cut is top quality.
Shop around. My experience is in London, but over here the prices in the diamond quarter and online are about the same. Beware of anyone who won’t give you a straight price. Despite what anyone tells you, diamonds are close to commodities.
Make sure you get a certificate, and don’t buy anything with a non-GIA certificate.
She will be wearing the ring all the time, and indefinitely into the future, which means there will be inevitable wear-and-tear. So platinum is probably the best metal.
There is no reason to spend anything like the upper range of your budget. You can get an extremely nice (genuine) ring in the bottom half of that price range, and artificial will only be cheaper.
This is a perfect exemplar of something I really hate about this website. A poster asks for advice about how to buy a diamond, and instead he gets mostly replies saying “don’t buy a diamond.” I will try and actually be helpful.
Being pedantic, the original question was
I would like to propose to my girlfriend in the near future. For this I would like to use a diamond ring.
and your first suggestion was
Propose with a “fake” ring, then go shopping for the “real” ring together.
This seems like a reasonable suggestion. But I think you applied the same heuristics as others, just less far. Those heuristics being “infer motives from question; give advice satisfying inferred motives”. The motive you inferred seems to have been “I’d like to propose, and I’d like my girlfriend to end up with a diamond ring”. Others seem to have inferred something closer to “I’d like to propose with a ring with a pretty stone in it”.
Basically I think that “being helpful” is a difficult game, and “answer the question as asked” doesn’t lead to optimal helpfulness, and I don’t have a good solution for this.
Meta: You raise an interesting point about not getting the answers you want. Being aware of the barrier to communication I can only say, “be specific”. I have found similar problems when posting here and also in other critical-thought places. It led to my being specific in this recent discussion post twice over.
I would not be blaming the community for this result; but rather the clarity of the way the question was asked. The top post can be edited if needed; or asked again and phrased differently if necessary.
Also the original post did say
I am leaning towards an artificial diamond
indicating an awareness of alternative options and a willingness to go for alternatives.
How would you respond if a poster asked for advice as to how to best transfer money to Nigeria in order to receive a large amount of money in payment for this service?
That is a really bad analogy. When sending money to Nigeria you expect more money and will receive nothing. When buying a diamond you expect a diamond and will receive a diamond. Your personal ideas about its value are quite irrelevant here.
Propose with a “fake” ring, then go shopping for the “real” ring together.
Err… I don’t know. Proposing with a fake £10 ring sounds cheesy to me. You can always go shopping together for the wedding bands :-)
don’t buy anything with a non-GIA certificate.
GIA and AGS certificates are both fine. EGS and IGL are more iffy in the sense that they will grade a diamond higher than GIA or AGS would—downgrade their ratings one or two notches for comparison.
So platinum is probably the best metal
Well, the first choice is between yellow and white—some people want yellow (gold) jewelry. In white, do NOT buy white gold, it’s rhodium-coated and the coating wears off. You are supposed to renew it every few years. Buy either platinum (expensive) or palladium (less so).
Err… I don’t know. Proposing with a fake £10 ring sounds cheesy to me. You can always go shopping together for the wedding bands :-)
I agree it would be cheesy to propose with something fake-looking, but you can buy a really nice-looking ring for that price, that she is unlikely to realise isn’t real (unless she’s a jeweller). I proposed that way and afterwards when I told my fiancee that we had to buy a real ring, she was surprised that the ring wasn’t real. Maybe I shouldn’t have told her :)
The problem with non-GIA certificates is that because GIA is the standard, the reason that anyone submitted to a non-GIA authority is that they think they’ll get a higher price if they sell it with a non-GIA certificate. In which case you, as customer, are paying more for the same diamond...
Well, the first choice is between yellow and white—some people want yellow (gold) jewelry.
This is true. As the fiancee wears both gold and silver, I assumed she was OK with both.
I know a guy who met his fiancee while working as a volunteer on an art installation in New York. He proposed with a nut (of the nut-and-bolt kind) from that installation :-/
This is a perfect exemplar of something I really hate about this website. A poster asks for advice about how to buy a diamond, and instead he gets mostly replies saying “don’t buy a diamond.” I will try and actually be helpful.
Well, it’s hard to give actually useful advise in that category, but coming up with a reason not to buy a diamond is an easy way to signal your cleverness.
This is a perfect exemplar of something I really hate about this website. A poster asks for advice about how to buy a diamond, and instead he gets mostly replies saying “don’t buy a diamond.” I will try and actually be helpful.
My advice would be:
Your girlfriend probably has much stronger views than you do about jewellery, and after all she will be the one wearing it. Propose with a “fake” ring, then go shopping for the “real” ring together. I got a very nice-looking ring off Amazon for £10 to propose with. This minimises the chance of making a bad decision, and is also a romantic thing to do together.
If you do insist on buying the ring beforehand, make sure you can take it back. Many places will do returns within 30 days. Borrow a ring she finds comfortable to get the sizing.
Do not get hung up about high degrees of quality. VS2 clarity and H colour is plenty. She will never tell the difference between having a VS2 and VVS1 diamond on her finger—these differences are only visible when put next to another diamond in the right light, which will never happen.
But make sure the cut is top quality.
Shop around. My experience is in London, but over here the prices in the diamond quarter and online are about the same. Beware of anyone who won’t give you a straight price. Despite what anyone tells you, diamonds are close to commodities.
Make sure you get a certificate, and don’t buy anything with a non-GIA certificate.
She will be wearing the ring all the time, and indefinitely into the future, which means there will be inevitable wear-and-tear. So platinum is probably the best metal.
There is no reason to spend anything like the upper range of your budget. You can get an extremely nice (genuine) ring in the bottom half of that price range, and artificial will only be cheaper.
Being pedantic, the original question was
and your first suggestion was
This seems like a reasonable suggestion. But I think you applied the same heuristics as others, just less far. Those heuristics being “infer motives from question; give advice satisfying inferred motives”. The motive you inferred seems to have been “I’d like to propose, and I’d like my girlfriend to end up with a diamond ring”. Others seem to have inferred something closer to “I’d like to propose with a ring with a pretty stone in it”.
Basically I think that “being helpful” is a difficult game, and “answer the question as asked” doesn’t lead to optimal helpfulness, and I don’t have a good solution for this.
examples of reasonably pretty looking amazon rings http://www.amazon.com/AnaZoz-Jewelry-Elegant-Platinum-Engagement/dp/B00YJH9IG2/ref=sr_1_6?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1433199898&sr=1-6 http://www.amazon.com/AnaZoz-Platinum-Austrian-Crystals-Elements/dp/B00YJHD94O/ref=sr_1_30?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1433199898&sr=1-30
gold plated: http://www.amazon.com/AnaZoz-Jewelry-Elements-Austrian-Crystals/dp/B00YJHIMW8/ref=sr_1_14?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1433200135&sr=1-14
in the ~$100 range not the $5 range as above: http://www.amazon.com/Size-10-Sterling-Diamond-Wedding/dp/B00PDQY4SK/ref=sr_1_12?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1433200210&sr=1-12&keywords=gold+plated
Meta: You raise an interesting point about not getting the answers you want. Being aware of the barrier to communication I can only say, “be specific”. I have found similar problems when posting here and also in other critical-thought places. It led to my being specific in this recent discussion post twice over.
I would not be blaming the community for this result; but rather the clarity of the way the question was asked. The top post can be edited if needed; or asked again and phrased differently if necessary.
Also the original post did say
indicating an awareness of alternative options and a willingness to go for alternatives.
How would you respond if a poster asked for advice as to how to best transfer money to Nigeria in order to receive a large amount of money in payment for this service?
That is a really bad analogy. When sending money to Nigeria you expect more money and will receive nothing. When buying a diamond you expect a diamond and will receive a diamond. Your personal ideas about its value are quite irrelevant here.
I would respond with extra information in the areas of people who have experienced similar as well as advice in the area.
Err… I don’t know. Proposing with a fake £10 ring sounds cheesy to me. You can always go shopping together for the wedding bands :-)
GIA and AGS certificates are both fine. EGS and IGL are more iffy in the sense that they will grade a diamond higher than GIA or AGS would—downgrade their ratings one or two notches for comparison.
Well, the first choice is between yellow and white—some people want yellow (gold) jewelry. In white, do NOT buy white gold, it’s rhodium-coated and the coating wears off. You are supposed to renew it every few years. Buy either platinum (expensive) or palladium (less so).
I agree it would be cheesy to propose with something fake-looking, but you can buy a really nice-looking ring for that price, that she is unlikely to realise isn’t real (unless she’s a jeweller). I proposed that way and afterwards when I told my fiancee that we had to buy a real ring, she was surprised that the ring wasn’t real. Maybe I shouldn’t have told her :)
The problem with non-GIA certificates is that because GIA is the standard, the reason that anyone submitted to a non-GIA authority is that they think they’ll get a higher price if they sell it with a non-GIA certificate. In which case you, as customer, are paying more for the same diamond...
This is true. As the fiancee wears both gold and silver, I assumed she was OK with both.
A friend of mine proposed with an engraved multitool… that’s a very special pair of people though.
I know a guy who met his fiancee while working as a volunteer on an art installation in New York. He proposed with a nut (of the nut-and-bolt kind) from that installation :-/
She accepted :-)
Well, it’s hard to give actually useful advise in that category, but coming up with a reason not to buy a diamond is an easy way to signal your cleverness.