(Idk why I’m replying to this 2 years later). I forgave him for what I think are pretty normal reasons to forgive someone. A combination (1) of he’s been a good friend in many respects over the years and so has a bunch of “credit” and I wanted to find a path to our relationship continuing, (2) nothing like that ever happened again so I believe it was really aberrant and unlucky or he took it really seriously and changed, (3) like I said above it wasn’t that harmful to me and seemed less harmful than a lot of stuff a lot of other people do so it seemed like it should be in the “forgivable actions” reference class.
If I’d been the only woman in the world I probably would have forgiven him more quickly but I felt some need to punish him extra on behalf of the women who would have suffered more from what he did to men than I did.
(Idk why I’m replying to this 2 years later). I forgave him for what I think are pretty normal reasons to forgive someone. A combination (1) of he’s been a good friend in many respects over the years and so has a bunch of “credit” and I wanted to find a path to our relationship continuing, (2) nothing like that ever happened again so I believe it was really aberrant and unlucky or he took it really seriously and changed, (3) like I said above it wasn’t that harmful to me and seemed less harmful than a lot of stuff a lot of other people do so it seemed like it should be in the “forgivable actions” reference class.
If I’d been the only woman in the world I probably would have forgiven him more quickly but I felt some need to punish him extra on behalf of the women who would have suffered more from what he did to men than I did.