Because of how excited I got when I received gifts in the past. For example , I cherish an expensive scarf a girlfriend gave me even though I would never have bought it for more than a few dollars myself.
If you also get excited by cheap gifts (flowers, candy, nice thrift-store finds, whatever) then tell her that. If the gifts have to be expensive for you to appreciate them, though, that’s kind of awkward though maybe if you give her gifts of similar value it comes out fair.
The issue with that paragraph is that it doesn’t contain the word “love”. One could read the sentence as you using your girlfriend to obtain an expensive item for free.
If you don’t want to appear shallow, then go deeper into the meaning and the emotions. Of course there are valid reasons why you might not go deep on a online forum.
Talking about past partners is probably no good idea for the first date. Further down the road you could just start by asking your girlfriend about her love languages. What made her feel loved in the past? Go through each of the five love languages and ask to what extend they matter to her.
I’d actually thought about recommending this test on Lesswrong before. I don’t know if the Five Love Languages accurately presents any theoretical/neurological underpinnings, but descriptively, it seems very accurate, at least for me.
(I’m the opposite of Omid—physical touch and quality time together are very important to me; words of affirmation are a little important; but receiving acts of service or gifts does nothing for me, even though I enjoy performing acts of service/giving gifts to my SO) .
How do you know that gifts are your love language? What experiences did you had in your life that makes you conclude that’s your main love language?
Because of how excited I got when I received gifts in the past. For example , I cherish an expensive scarf a girlfriend gave me even though I would never have bought it for more than a few dollars myself.
If you also get excited by cheap gifts (flowers, candy, nice thrift-store finds, whatever) then tell her that. If the gifts have to be expensive for you to appreciate them, though, that’s kind of awkward though maybe if you give her gifts of similar value it comes out fair.
The issue with that paragraph is that it doesn’t contain the word “love”. One could read the sentence as you using your girlfriend to obtain an expensive item for free.
If you don’t want to appear shallow, then go deeper into the meaning and the emotions. Of course there are valid reasons why you might not go deep on a online forum.
Talking about past partners is probably no good idea for the first date. Further down the road you could just start by asking your girlfriend about her love languages. What made her feel loved in the past? Go through each of the five love languages and ask to what extend they matter to her.
If you do that, she’s likely ask you as well.
I’d actually thought about recommending this test on Lesswrong before. I don’t know if the Five Love Languages accurately presents any theoretical/neurological underpinnings, but descriptively, it seems very accurate, at least for me.
(I’m the opposite of Omid—physical touch and quality time together are very important to me; words of affirmation are a little important; but receiving acts of service or gifts does nothing for me, even though I enjoy performing acts of service/giving gifts to my SO) .