Some reflection around the question I posted some days ago: “Is there something fundamentally wrong with the Universe?”. I’m still not sure if it helped that much in changing things with regard to writing something I care about, but it still feels like some things have landed a bit more.
The different sides to an issue are usually interconnected, to me, just one of many. Some might be much harder to acknowledge and understand, but they are all valid, to a degree. What I dislike is usually that different sides do not communicate effectively, efficiently or at all.
At the same time there is also quite the difference in complexity between many issues. Like they are part of the same circle, or floor so to speak. Many times when I observe disconnection here, either in myself, in others or elsewhere, I might notice that the reason is that the issues are not on the same floor. Not to say that they are less important, but they might include less conscious thought, or come from much more simple parts of the brain, programming or an earlier time in life.
Reading the comments, I see a lot of hope for the future, but only one that added in the flip side of the argument. Like a secret that one shouldn’t talk about. As a general rule I do not like that—but I also have to acknowledge that my own wish for cooperative and effective communication, usually means that I tend to simplify and abstract issues to make them fit a window where they are in some kind of balance.
I did see things similarly at one point in time, and it even took me some years to change it. It wasn’t an easy change, not at all. It has taken intense amounts of effort, as I feared feeling what I found out is massive amounts of nostalgia.
Why do I have to grow like this? Why do I constantly seek out the most complex, integrated view of life and living? Of course I can rationalize and argue for it in hindsight, but I have really tried my damndest to make things work with a simpler outlook on life. Maybe the reason it didn’t work was simply because I tried too hard. To push things to their ‘natural’ conclusions usually just means breaking them into a myriad of pieces.
I crave Interconnected depth where I acknowledge my limitations and face the unknown unhindered. It is what is truly valuable to me, and what is at the center of value to me. The few times I have come close to something interesting, people want to stop. It’s too much, it’s too intense or it’s too painful. Fine, I get it. I have my limitations too. Let’s work on overcoming them.. Hey, where are you going? Hey!… Well, maybe there is someone else beside me and my partner, somewhere, that find what people usually call deep ‘completely superficial’ - What deep people like to call deep ‘Casual’ and what the shadow workers call deep ‘Every day life’. And that have gone steps beyond that, and have notice how difficult it is to really progress further without others at the same level. Should I even care about this? Well, other’s can care about what they care about, and moreover, there are so many more people that ‘take care of’ things on their depths than here. Leave us alone. And so, yeah, I would like to have meaningful, deep conversations, but there are degrees to things. Levels of commitment and depth, varying ability in discernment.
Is there something fundamentally wrong with the Universe? If there is, it is way beyond my league. I just know that I want a Universe that is Conscious and with which I can have a mutual, reciprocal connection. And this one seems unable to, and I don’t want to help create some kind of Golden Cow.
Even though this line of thinking is still young, and occupies a small portion of my mind—it has become an important node. A small, but important stone that forces a lot of water in a specific direction.
It seems that getting what I am longing for and wishing for the Universe to change, are misaligned on a fundamental level. Which is scary. Maybe I could just work on becoming more content. Focus on my health, cleaning, eating, chopping some wood—love, care, compassion and exploration… But it seems the issue isn’t really with the Universe per se—It is a fundamental issue in me, and what I want.
I want the relationship to be reciprocal. To be mutual. To not live in some dead Universe that just floats around, but a living and conscious one, that actually welcomes us. And since we technically aren’t in a relationship, I don’t really consider it cheating to look for someone else whilst still living here.
So far, it’s tough luck.
God, why isn’t there an app for things like this… sigh
Some reflection around the question I posted some days ago: “Is there something fundamentally wrong with the Universe?”. I’m still not sure if it helped that much in changing things with regard to writing something I care about, but it still feels like some things have landed a bit more.
The different sides to an issue are usually interconnected, to me, just one of many. Some might be much harder to acknowledge and understand, but they are all valid, to a degree. What I dislike is usually that different sides do not communicate effectively, efficiently or at all.
At the same time there is also quite the difference in complexity between many issues. Like they are part of the same circle, or floor so to speak. Many times when I observe disconnection here, either in myself, in others or elsewhere, I might notice that the reason is that the issues are not on the same floor. Not to say that they are less important, but they might include less conscious thought, or come from much more simple parts of the brain, programming or an earlier time in life.
Reading the comments, I see a lot of hope for the future, but only one that added in the flip side of the argument. Like a secret that one shouldn’t talk about. As a general rule I do not like that—but I also have to acknowledge that my own wish for cooperative and effective communication, usually means that I tend to simplify and abstract issues to make them fit a window where they are in some kind of balance.
I did see things similarly at one point in time, and it even took me some years to change it. It wasn’t an easy change, not at all. It has taken intense amounts of effort, as I feared feeling what I found out is massive amounts of nostalgia.
Why do I have to grow like this? Why do I constantly seek out the most complex, integrated view of life and living?
Of course I can rationalize and argue for it in hindsight, but I have really tried my damndest to make things work with a simpler outlook on life. Maybe the reason it didn’t work was simply because I tried too hard. To push things to their ‘natural’ conclusions usually just means breaking them into a myriad of pieces.
I crave Interconnected depth where I acknowledge my limitations and face the unknown unhindered. It is what is truly valuable to me, and what is at the center of value to me.
The few times I have come close to something interesting, people want to stop. It’s too much, it’s too intense or it’s too painful. Fine, I get it. I have my limitations too. Let’s work on overcoming them.. Hey, where are you going? Hey!… Well, maybe there is someone else beside me and my partner, somewhere, that find what people usually call deep ‘completely superficial’ - What deep people like to call deep ‘Casual’ and what the shadow workers call deep ‘Every day life’. And that have gone steps beyond that, and have notice how difficult it is to really progress further without others at the same level.
Should I even care about this? Well, other’s can care about what they care about, and moreover, there are so many more people that ‘take care of’ things on their depths than here. Leave us alone.
And so, yeah, I would like to have meaningful, deep conversations, but there are degrees to things. Levels of commitment and depth, varying ability in discernment.
Is there something fundamentally wrong with the Universe? If there is, it is way beyond my league. I just know that I want a Universe that is Conscious and with which I can have a mutual, reciprocal connection. And this one seems unable to, and I don’t want to help create some kind of Golden Cow.
Even though this line of thinking is still young, and occupies a small portion of my mind—it has become an important node. A small, but important stone that forces a lot of water in a specific direction.
It seems that getting what I am longing for and wishing for the Universe to change, are misaligned on a fundamental level. Which is scary. Maybe I could just work on becoming more content. Focus on my health, cleaning, eating, chopping some wood—love, care, compassion and exploration… But it seems the issue isn’t really with the Universe per se—It is a fundamental issue in me, and what I want.
I want the relationship to be reciprocal. To be mutual. To not live in some dead Universe that just floats around, but a living and conscious one, that actually welcomes us. And since we technically aren’t in a relationship, I don’t really consider it cheating to look for someone else whilst still living here.
So far, it’s tough luck.
God, why isn’t there an app for things like this… sigh