“…we should not flinch away…” is another instance of the thing.
Doh! Busted.
Thanks for the reminder.
This isn’t just banishing the word “should”: the ability not to flinch away from hard things is a skill, and trying to bypass development of that skill with moral panic actually makes everything worse.
Agreed.
We don’t have to actually answer that question to participate in feeding Friendliness in the egregoric wars. We just have to sincerely ask.
Good point. Agreed, and worth pointing out explicitly.
I’m not totally sure I follow. Do you mean a hard line against “shoulding”?
Yes. You don’t really need it, things tend to work better without it, and the fact no one even noticed that that it didn’t show up in this post is a good example of that. At the same time, “I shouldn’t ever use ‘should’” obviously has the exact same problems, and it’s possible to miss that you’re taking that stance if you don’t ever say it out loud. I watched some of your videos after Kaj linked one, and… it’s not that it looked like you were doing that, but it looked like you might be doing that. Like there wasn’t any sort of self caricaturing or anything that showed me that “Val is well aware of this failure mode, and is actively steering clear”, so I couldn’t rule it out and wanted to mark it as a point of uncertainty and a thing you might want to watch out for.
That said, I think trying to make my point more compelling would in fact be an example of the corruption I’m trying to purify myself of. Instead I want to be correct and clear. That might happen to result in what I’m saying being more compelling… but I need to be clean of the need for that to happen in order for it to unfold in a Friendly way.
Ah, but I never said you should try to make your point more compelling! What do you notice when you ask yourself why “X would have effect Y” led you to respond with a reason to not do X? ;)
Doh! Busted.
Thanks for the reminder.
Agreed.
Good point. Agreed, and worth pointing out explicitly.
Yes. You don’t really need it, things tend to work better without it, and the fact no one even noticed that that it didn’t show up in this post is a good example of that. At the same time, “I shouldn’t ever use ‘should’” obviously has the exact same problems, and it’s possible to miss that you’re taking that stance if you don’t ever say it out loud. I watched some of your videos after Kaj linked one, and… it’s not that it looked like you were doing that, but it looked like you might be doing that. Like there wasn’t any sort of self caricaturing or anything that showed me that “Val is well aware of this failure mode, and is actively steering clear”, so I couldn’t rule it out and wanted to mark it as a point of uncertainty and a thing you might want to watch out for.
Ah, but I never said you should try to make your point more compelling! What do you notice when you ask yourself why “X would have effect Y” led you to respond with a reason to not do X? ;)